#i was at the perfect amount of karma to pass and I died trying to get food to shelter

[iloveyoubecauseyouarelove]

Waghhhhhh why is getting max karma for depths so hard

ALSO had no fucking idea that passages give you karma?

So i couldve gone to the closest den instead of thinking i needing grind UGH

And the worst part? The deb im grinding at? Spawned a red lizard! A red lizard! When the lizard who originally was at that den was an UNTAMED GREEN LIZARD that got stuck with me in a den because it chased me in as i was going to sleep UGH

[ac-ars]

high for this

i dont even have anything to say for my defense

also i wanna thank chica de cielos for handling my complaining when i was writing t h i s

have fun

Luna Valente doesn’t expect much fun when she gets accepted to the University of Oxford, but it’s the only way to stay away from her controlling aunt. She doesn’t expect also Matteo Balsano, who is the most helpful out of everyone there. Is he really as perfect as it seems though?

previous chapters here

🌙

4/ trust me girl, you wanna be high for this 

Her alarm snooze sounds for maybe a fourth time this morning. Luna had decided Saturday will be studying day; she has some test next week and it would be nice to know anything this time. She keeps wondering why she decided to study something that forces her to take chemistry and physics as majors, but hopefully they will take her head away from all cloudy thoughts and buzzes in her stomach.

She made out with Matteo less than twelve hours ago and she feels like she needs more than the small amount of sleep she got herself, but also her sleep sucked anyway. Luna didn’t manage falling asleep properly; she kept waking up and rolling around her warm bed, constantly thinking about this one very special boy. Her body was shaking softly with excitement, every nerve has been curling and uncurling nervously, and in general Luna hasn’t decided yet whether this feeling is great or if it sucks.

Eventually, she reaches for her phone, to turn off the damn alarm sound. It used to be one of her favorite songs, but since the day it was set as the waking up music, Luna couldn’t do anything except genuinely despising it.

She sits up, pulling the blanket all over her shoulders to keep at least a little warm, and yawns loudly, blinking because her eyes aren’t really used to darkness of early morning yet. The screen of the phone is definitely too bright, so Luna lets out small growl turning the brightness as much off as possible. Only then she can see anything, and her notification bar is full, putting another wave of buzz all over her body. There is some insta notification, few texts on group chat with the girls, mail from near bookstore and new youtube video from buzzfeed. No messages from Matteo has her disappointed; they shared few messages after she got back to her dorm so it’s not like he was supposed to leave something for her to smile after waking up, but it would still be better than nothing.

Still, she sends him quick ‘morning’ and locks her phone, throwing it on the pillow again. Apparently she gets up too quickly, because her eyes go black and she needs to support herself on the head of the bed. Her feet aren’t really happy to touch the cold floor, but that’s just karma for being so giddy last night and forgetting to put on the socks. Weather forecast isn’t really nice and Luna still hasn’t bought all wintery stuff. She noted in her head that she should tell Ambar or the girls to go with her, even if she knows she will surely forget.

🌙

The brunette leaves shower in actually better mood, wearing fluffy robe and just as fluffy slippers. The heating is put on max and that’s decent time for Luna to have herself breakfast. She sets on the water for the tea, and opens the fridge to wonder what to eat when someone knocks to the door.

Luna huffs, wondering who can be here without saying anything before and at this cold, early hour of eight in the morning. She goes slowly to open the door and stares at her guest with one eye closed.

“What are you doing here?” That’s all she can let out, despite it sounding undeniably rude.

He smiles. “Well, it’s very nice to see you too, Luna.”

She rolls her eyes, trying to hide the blush but her wet hair is in loose, messy bun so no way for that. Matteo sighs and kisses her cheek quickly as he passes her the warm cup.

“Coffee?” The brunette asks, already planning how she could put all said coffee to the sink and replace it with some tea.

Yet, he only sends her a smile. “Nah, this time hot chocolate. I already had my coffee and guessed you would be more up for something sweet.”

Luna raises her eyebrows surprised but takes one of the cups from his hand and closes the door as he is already inside her dorm.

“Thank you very much, but really what's the reason you are here so early?”

His eyes slide lazily down her body, making her feel like she is wearing nothing and that's not really the safest feeling to have around Matteo Balsano. Small smile forms on his mouth and he eventually is back with his eyes to her face. “I was going to class nearby and just wanted to see you,” he says almost matter of factly with a shrug.

Luna isn't sure if it was a good idea; now she definitely is gonna be a mess, now remembering his kiss from last night and the fact that she will probably keep it only for herself.

“So, are you gonna dress up or this robe is that comfy?” Matteo asks and Luna rolls her eyes, blushing slightly. “Leave me and my robe alone, if you don't like something you can not look.”

He hums, pushing one of untidy strands of her hair behind her ear. “I don't want to not look at you, I wouldn't deny myself this kind of pleasure.”

Luna kinda dies inside, but tries to keep it cool and just nod and drink her chocolate. Her red cheeks surely betray how she feels inside, at least a little. There is something very warm in that wrong way, the one that she didn’t really want to feel around him until last night and yet here she is, wanting to crawl out of her skin to get as close to him as possible. Matteo smiles smug at that as if he could read her mind. “Anyway, how was your sleep?”

She shrugs tiny, licking her lips after she takes the cup away. “It was nice, I talked to my mom before sleep. How was yours?”

Small something appears in his eyes, but just for a second and then he is all himself again. “It was quite decent,” he just says and starts putting tea boxes in some order so it looks definitely neater than after Luna left it last night. He is humming some song, probably fully aware of her watching him carefully. He is wearing those black jeans and Luna has her weak moment, again remembering why she has issues whenever she sees a boy with long legs. She is sure it's cold and yet he doesn't have any hat on his head, and that's the image thing she would never be able to pull; she always picks being comfy and warm over making sure her hairstyle stays in place.

“So,” she starts very not casual. “When do you have the class?”

He looks up at her with small smile. “In like thirty minutes.”

“Well, so I think it's time for you to go, Matteo.” Luna hums and he walks up to her. “If you are kicking me out, then I will go.” His voice is light, very much hinting the tease hidden behind these words and the brunette shakes her head.

“It's not me having double major studies if I remember correctly,” she says slowly and starts playing with the collar of his shirt, not sure why the fuck is she doing that; he hasn't done anything indicating that something changed in their relation since last night's kiss and that's probably her seeking for some kind of proof that maybe it did. Or him stating that it didn't, it would be still better than not knowing.

Boys are confusing.

He just smiles, again, he keeps smiling, but each of his smiles means a different thing. “You are very right here, caring about my attendance. I will get going. I hope you have nice morning, sweet thing. Let me know if you have any fun plans.”

He winks, kisses her forehead twice without pulling away his lips from her skin, and with that he is gone.

She better goes and gets dressed.

🌙

The thing about studying with your friends in some coffee shop, is that you all pick some coffee shop of your liking, then just get to the table and order something to drink as you take out the notes or laptop with the presentation.

In Luna’s case it’s almost the same, with one tiny exception. She can’t focus at all. She is reading the same page for the fifth time and still gets nothing. Like, absolutely nothing and it’s all because she has no idea whether she should tell her friends about Matteo or not.

She used to tell them everything before; they know each other few long weeks already and they literally talk about every single thing, which sometimes grosses Luna a little. Still, she isn’t sure if she should mention this very important piece of information, but this piece of information seems so weird in her head, not to even try to say it out loud.

The girls won’t suspect anything anyway, because they are busy with their own stuff, yet Luna is just trying to imagine what their reactions would be. Jim would most likely just huff and growl; she still needs some time to accept that Luna is willing to hang out with a boy who steal her drink and made them all go home. Yam wouldn’t do much except throwing shook gasps at her, at them all and wiggle her eyebrows annoyingly whenever Matteo would appear around them, while Nina would just silently judge her or something. Or maybe she would be chill and nice, and happy for her friend to be happy.

Is she happy though? She isn’t sure, and she doesn’t plan on trying to dig that hole deeper than it already is.

The book finally manages to be interesting, and Luna actually is focused, she is reading one paragraph, then the second and third, and she turns the page, proud of herself.

“Luna! You haven’t updated us recently!” one of the girls says, a little too loud for the coffee shop filled with people, and few people send them confused stares.

“What?” Valente answers, slightly confused and Jim rolls her eyes. “What’s up with you and Balsano?”

Blush that creeps way up to her cheeks surely betrays something, but no one really asks and she just sends a shrug. “I don’t know. I guess the same as yesterday, though the last time me and you talked, you hated his guts, Jimena.”

“Oh, it was in the past. I grew up.” Literally every person by the table rolls their eyes and the ginger friend of theirs pouts. “I really did.”

“You didn’t,” Yam says and Luna needs to stop her snort.

Jim flips her hair and starts braiding it, because it started getting into her eyes. “You may all be mean, I don’t care. I just want to know how’s Matteo with Luna. Maybe if someone tells him that he should bring her a drink instead of stealing her vodka shots he will learn. Plus he is too hot to be mad at him long.”

Luna blinks surprised, this is the most ridiculous shit she has ever heard Jim saying, and she has heard much, much of weird stuff.

“Well,” she shrugs. “You can be the one who enlightens him, I am not sure if he is willing to study anything except physics or some music connected things.”

Yam bites on her muffin and sighs heavily. “I’m sure he would be thrilled to learn some anatomy with you.”

Nina chokes on her coffee so much that her glasses almost fall off the bridge of her nose and she has to support them. Jim giggles and high fives her bestie and Luna just wants to go home.

She came here to study and yet here she is, being the protagonist of her friends’ kinky jokes. The day sounds dazzling.

“We should change the topic,” Nina says quietly, “I remember you girls talked about some party before when Luna went to order our stuff.”

Luna nods to herself, because that sounds like a safe thing to talk about, Jim and Yam always love to get some idea to drink, and dance, and definitely flirt with the boys.

“Actually yes! There is one on this Saturday, but we don’t have invitation.”

“Does any party really need an invitation these days?” The brunette asks with raised eyebrows and her ginger friend sighs sadly. “Yes. Or that’s what we overheard the other day from the conversation of Ramiro, the curly guy who is buddy buddy with Balsano, and some girl. You can’t just get there.”

She turns to Nina who shakes her head as well. “So if we can’t go then why are we talking about that?”

“Because you can totally get us in.” Yam grins saying it as if it was obvious, and Luna almost feels silly for not understanding the hidden meaning. “I can’t make someone invite you to their party if they don’t know you. Plus going somewhere without knowing anyone and the host is dumb and even you aren’t that dumb.”

Jim hums and kicks her foot lightly. “Talk to Matteo. He will be there probably and it will help us.”

Luna rolls her eyes. “He never talked to me about that, this is his personal life and I am not getting into that, because you are bored and decided to get more acquaintances in uni.”

Nina sends her encouraging smile and nods, which makes her feel a little better.

“You don’t really care that he will go there, and drink, and meet some drunk people as well?” The blonde asks, mixing her coffee with the spoon. “You know, drunk girls, and stuff.”

She isn’t looking directly at Luna, but they all know what she is doing right now, trying to manipulate Luna into this shit, but she is better than this and she won’t break even if the tight knot in her stomach makes drinking tea very difficult. She should chill and ignore this, not think about that since Matteo is his own person, he doesn’t need to be watched out and followed like a child in case he does something bad.

“I’m not doing anything. If he decided to not tell me about it, it’s his business and I can’t mix into his private life, girls.”

Heavy sighs from both sides reach Luna’s ears, but at least it means she won the battle. If they knew about the kiss from last night they would never let her get out of this situation. Her phone buzzes softly and there are two texts from Matteo, one ten minutes after the first.

Matteo Hope we can hang out today ?

She bites on the inside of her cheek, not sure if the question mark was to remind her that he exists and needs attention, but despite all promises she has made and will make, the promises she never really promised, yet simply decided she wouldn’t be putting herself on a silver plate for him, are really not in her head right now.

Me yeah what time?

🌙

She hasn't expected that he would actually still want to hang out after she told him she wasn't going to move out of her place anymore today. It was cold enough and when she and the girls left the coffee shop, it started raining, and she didn't have any umbrella or a hood to cover herself. She decided it was enough for her and that's why she is now sitting on the couch in big sweater, wrapped up in a blanket and drinking hot chocolate, while Matteo Balsano is comfortably seated right next to her.

He hasn't texted anyone or talked on the phone since the moment he entered her dorm, but also he hasn't done more than kissing her cheek hi and this has Luna lowkey disappointed. Though, it's all probably because her brain keeps having high hopes for literally everything.

His arm is around her shoulders as he seems very focused on the movie they ended up choosing. Luna isn't able to think clearly having him so close and having his scent in her lungs with every breath is like breathing in nail polish scent that makes her dizzy after being around it too much. The only difference is that he actually smells good and Luna is already addicted to this cologne of his.

It’s a nice and soft afternoon, she doesn't need to think about every word she says in case Matteo will use it against her like her friends would do. She kinda missed the moment when he pulled her to his side, but he is warm and feels safe, so she softly allowed herself to lean against his shoulder. It's not like he wouldn't do that if he didn't want to have her close, right?

He even got her food and snacks, and that has her so, very biased, because as soon as someone brings her any kind of food she is sold, and being sold to Matteo doesn't seem like a bad thing, even if it lowkey feels dangerous for her sanity. His eyes slide quickly over the English subs he put on and he doesn't seem to be throwing any any sneaky glances towards her, she knows because she's been very obviously staring at him and he apparently hasn't noticed it yet. He would tease the hell out of her and Luna would die, but she just can't take her eyes off his face, so steady and calm just like the sea after sunset, already hiding something dark and mysterious.

She sighs softly eventually turning her face to the laptop, deciding to chill and act like a normal person finally, not like a psycho weirdo.

“Are you enjoying the movie?” He asks quietly with a hum and playing with the ends of her hair. Luna blinks turning again to him. “What?”

“I just see you are having fun, being all focused on the screen so I decided to ask you.” He turns to her with a smirk and she wonders how bad would it be to push him off the couch in this very moment.

“I think, Matteo, that you should focus on it yourself, instead of watching me with the corner of your eye.”

He chuckles softly, wrapping a strand of her hair around his finger. “Touché, Luna Valente.”

She just shrugs and wants to move away, but he doesn’t really let her. He pulls her closer instead and kisses top of her head. “I was just messing around, you need to relax sometimes. Anyway, I wanted to ask you something anyway.”

Luna straightens her spine and sits a little up, so she isn’t melted in his arms as he says it. Thousand thoughts runs through her brain, tons of them hopeful for all kinds offers from him to all bad things that could have ever happened and it’s the weirdest thing ever.

“What is it?” she only asks.

Matteo looks back at the screen and sighs a little, leaving Luna wondering if he will look her in the eye or not, but eventually his face is back close to hears, his eyes a little serious yet playful. “There is this guy in my physics group who lives nearby and his parents are out of the town for weekend, because of the work.” Something passes in his eyes, and Luna doesn’t miss this, though she doesn’t touch the topic fully knowing that it’s not the reason why he is talking to her.

“And Ramiro made him organize a party, so I’ve been wondering if you would wanna go with me.”

He is smiling a little, leaning his head against the back of the couch and Luna has no idea what to say. To be honest, she likes him and be around him, but on totally different conditions, when they can chill together somewhere where no one will stare at her and talk, because he is himself and she is lucky that he is giving her his attention.

“I don’t think I should go, Matteo,” she says with a shrug and his eyebrows go up. “And why is that?”

Luna doesn’t feel like she needs to excuse herself, but apparently this boy over here isn’t used to hear no as an answer to anything. “Because I won’t feel comfortable enough there.”

“Come on, you’re never uncomfy.”

“I am, very much and you just never notice it.” She pouts tiny and he boops her nose. “I really think you are life of the party and you would do amazing. Plus I wouldn’t leave you alone for a second so you don’t have to worry about being left and awks.”

The brunette sighs and bites on her lower lip, not sure why he cares so much about bringing her there. She is probably taking it very childishly, but he hasn’t promised that he wouldn’t go away from her to hit on something else, and she plans on not making him do so.

“I want the girls to be there as well.”

He sighs heavily with his eyes looking at the ceiling and she can say it’s a weird offer so she continues. “I mean it’s not that I don’t believe you, I just would feel better that there is someone there I know, plus they would be together so it’s not like they would make drama I’m ditching them for you.” She hopes it makes sense or at least sounds convincing. Her eyes don’t leave his face until he clears his throat, saying just one word. “Fine.”

Luna grins and kisses his cheek a little awkward. “Well then I will go.”

🌙

It’s not that she doesn’t like parties, or people, or alcohol, but it still makes Luna feel very ridiculous and uneven, and the heels she put on didn’t make her any taller actually. Being so tiny can be a curse, especially when people always tease her and lean down while talking to her. Hopefully those creeps who know Matteo will let her go.

Jim pulls her by the hand inside, since they came here together and her ginger friend made sure Luna doesn’t “get lost” on their way, just lacing their fingers and no matter what kind of touch is that, for Luna touch is always reassuring and it’s the support she needs in this situation. Even if she doesn’t really want Matteo or anyone see her holding hand with Jim, no offense to her friend of course.

First thing that hits her as soon as they enter, Yam following them both alone since Nina very surely denied the offer, (leaving them all not-that-surprised), is loud music and basically no light. It’s so dark Luna needs to look under her feet in case she steps on something and trips, especially when those heels are high and she isn’t the most graceful person on the Earth.

The people they pass by are strangers and Luna is sure she sees them all for the first or second time, but in general she doesn’t know anyone personally. Yet, if she did, she probably wouldn’t recognize one human here with the surroundings being too distracting. The hazy chatters, bumping into someone again and again while pulling her friends behind, the music is getting even louder, making Luna’s skin tingle and her thoughts completely messy. The house itself seems to be prepared for the party as much as it’s possible; any vases or breakable things are hidden or out of the sight, everything from the center from the big living room is moved to the side so part of the guests can dance or support the walls while talking to others.

Yam pokes them both at the same time. “We should look for the bathroom and the kitchen now, so we don’t have to search for them later.”

“OMG, yes! First kitchen, though, because I’m hungry.” Jim jumps excited. Luna is kinda tired of her friends using the OMG, but they learned it from their English buddies, so she lets them live with it.

“Already?” Luna frowns, but nods in agreement, since she is forever in need of food and the ginger haired girl pulls them both in some direction as the brunette is definitely not trying to find Matteo in the small crowd formed in the living room.

🌙

The kitchen, as it ended up, is placed nearby. They had to just cross another hallway and open the door to get in. There is another ton of the food on the counters, right after the table in other room. The girls came kinda late, but there is still pizza waiting in few boxes, and Luna is the first one to appear near and take a slice. Jim and Yam do the same while Luna checks on her phone in case Matteo sent her a text, but he hasn’t, he hasn’t texted her or called, or posted on his story anything recently except his laptop with Netflix logo on the screen. If he doesn’t appear here today, she swears she is going to kill him as soon as her eyes reach him, and then herself.

Or she will just take her friends after they have free pizza dinner here, and go to some club just enjoying her girls-only time, and forget Matteo Balsano and her dramatic ass.

That is why she shouldn’t have drunk the few shots Jim made her drink to “chill” before leaving the dorm.

At some point in the middle of taking another bite someone pats her shoulder and she turns around almost smashing the pizza in the person’s dark shirt, because they are too close.

Here she is, out of all possible ways to meet him today, she ended up with mouthful of pizza and lips probably stained with tomato sauce.

“There you are, sweet thing. I see you are enjoying the party already,” he says, smiling as if she wasn’t messiest thing existing. He leans and kisses her cheek before passing her a napkin and taking his arm around her shoulders.

The girls stare at him and he looks at them without changing his face. “Jimena, Yamila, I hope you have fun today and I’m afraid I will have to steal Luna from you.”

Mentioned Luna rolls her eyes at the full names and stealing thing, since she is the one to decide with who she wants to spend the party. Even if she wants to hang out with Matteo, still it’s her choice.

He pulls her closer to his side, yet still casually and the girls just nod, smiling, and Jim raises her eyebrows. “Well, we hope you two have fun too, but please don’t babysit Luna today, because if you will, you will need a babysitter.”

Yam snorts and Luna gasps, Matteo seems surprised a little as well, but he sends her friend a wink. “There is nothing you need to worry about, really.”

“Okay girls, remember to not go alone anywhere, promise me that,” Luna warns them with serious eyes and both of her friends just nod before turning away and leaving with another slices of pizza.

Matteo turns to her with happy grin, as if he got extra toy on Christmas, the one he never found while searching around house. “I almost thought you wouldn’t appear, but at the same time I knew those two would drag you here even if you went back to Mexico.”

She rolls her eyes, but smiling as well, she likes simple being around him and just talking, and his teasing, and when he is looking at her with those funny, excited sparks in his eyes. She might like him a little bit too much.

“Do you really think I would miss an opportunity of getting free food?” she asks, raising her eyebrows and he laughs, reaching to push one loose strand of her hair behind her ear. “Why is your hair up, though?”

Luna shrugs. “I don’t know, I was in a mood I guess. Why?”

Matteo takes his fingers to the back of her head and releases her hair from the hairband. She immediately feels soft tickles on her shoulders and shivers. “Why would you do that?” she asks, but softly, without any drama in her voice surprisingly.

“I don’t know. I like your hair down more i think.”

She smiles. “You do?”

He nods and leans closer, having her almost breathless. “Yeah, and I very like your skirt.”

🌙

Luna has really no idea how much has she drunk yet, but it’s definitely much more than she should. Her head is spinning lightly, yet Matteo is holding his hand on her waist steadily all the time, which she appreciates. She doesn’t really see Jim or Yam since they left her alone with Balsano, and she is sure they are having fun or drinking until they throw up, or both.

Matteo introduced her to some people, though they haven’t stayed with anyone longer, because as he said, he didn’t want them to weird her out and ask too many questions since it's a party, fun for her, and not an interview. This makes sense enough in her head for Luna not to push, it's not like she wanted to meet all of his friends at once. She got to meet Ramiro, Matteo's good friend, or so it looks like, and few girls there keeps watching her with angry eyes. Each time Luna feels uncomfortable enough that she went to get a drink, and here she is now probably too drunk for her own good.

Yet, she still lets herself drag Matteo to dance, even if he sends her amused glance, but she doesn't stop and as long as he doesn't stop her either, it's okay.

Matteo is giving her this weird feeling, this idea of actual freedom that she doesn't have to follow what everyone tells her. She does what she wants, wears what she wants and she isn't sure if she feels like this because of all alcohol she has drunk so far, if it's because of Matteo being so close to her and keeping his hands on her body, while they are dancing slowly in between so many people, or if it's simply her relaxing finally after all those months. She likes it anyway.

She likes swaying lazily pressed to his chest with her arms loose around his neck. He is so, so close she can’t think straight, but she would never anyway especially when his hands are on her lower back, his thumbs sneaked their way under her a bit cropped tshirt. The song is quick and loud, people are jumping and hitting her with elbows, and sometimes pushing her a little. Luna can't care now, she is just focused on those two brown eyes, so warm and soft while he is mouthing her song lyrics and honestly it's the most perfect moment in the world even if she probably looks like mess with her curled hair. His tiny, annoying smile is almost enticing, asking her to go further, to take more, to feel more and feel less at the same time, she loves it and lets it all consume her in this very moment.

It’s the first time he is having her so close in public, around other people and she likes it so much, that he isn’t awkward, or pulling away, or pretending she is just a friend. Though, at the same time he is not kissing her yet, and she thinks that he should have already done that, not once.

He leans closer but turns towards her ear and his breathing on her neck makes her tingle. “Are you enjoying yourself?” he asks and traces the skin behind her ear with his nose, taking deep breath and Luna wonders if it’s still possible to move.

“Yeah, it’s very nice,” she says clearing her throat, because her voice comes out shaky and raspy. Matteo smiles at her and nods, but she continues. “Are you having fun with me, though?”

He raises his eyebrows just so slightly and hums. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“I don’t know.” She shrugs. “You probably had always had other things to do than spending whole party with one person.”

Matteo bites on his lower lip, making her want to do the same. “What if I like to do so? You are fun, Luna Valente.”

“I’m not sure what is your definition of fun, but that’s definitely not me,” she murmurs while playing with the collar of his shirt. He sends her almost annoying look before sliding his hand from her arm up to her nape and pressing her lips lazily to his finally.

It’s a slow, effortless kiss, but also a hungry and needy one. She can taste the alcohol drink he had before, it’s a bitter taste, yet now she doesn’t care, she just wants him closer and more. They stop in one place, closer to the wall than to the center of the room though, and her fingers tangle in his already messy hair. He tenses for a second, probably having the reflex of taking her hands away from his head, but she kisses him more urgently and he focuses on claiming her mouth as his once again.

The music is somehow dimmed and hazy now, as if her brain couldn’t take more things into her senses and process them, and Luna can only agree that Matteo kissing her is such an overwhelming thing, and she wants to kiss him forever.

His tongue is playing with hers almost teasingly, gliding across her lower lip or backing out for her to decide what she wants now, and she appreciates that. The hand he had placed on her nape to keep her close relaxes now a little, letting it fall a little before he takes it to her waist, under the tshirt she is wearing as the kiss becomes harder. His lips are more expecting and more wanting, he grips on her as if she was the one good thing in the world, or at least that’s what her dramatic, burned mind is saying. She wouldn’t really trust herself though, not when she is in a place like this, with him and doing what she is doing.

Matteo pushes her a little backwards and she is sure that she will step on someone’s foot or other body part, but she meets only cold wall and he is everywhere now. It’s almost too much how lost she is, how she can’t breathe and when he bites on her lower lip, the last drops of her conscience make her stop him and push away for a few inches.

He stares at her with dark, very confused and messy eyes, his breathing is short and shallow, his cheeks are actually red as never before and he looks absolutely breathtaking.

“Everything’s fine?” he asks with a quiet, raspy voice and if she wasn’t so close, she wouldn’t have heard it because of the music being loud again.

She nods tiny and clears her throat, wondering how bad she has to look if he is such a mess now. “I don’t think this is a good place to do something like that.” Matteo opens his mouth softly, but she places her hand on his chest. “And tonight it’s not a good night to do anything more.”

He smiles with this small troublemaker smirk. “I wouldn’t have suggested anything like that, sweet thing.” Luna rolls her eyes, but smiles trying to regain her steady heartbeat. “I think that I need a drink.”

🌙

She doesn’t really care what she will drink, she just wants to cool down her body, and when Matteo asks her if it’s supposed to be alcohol free or not, she just shrugs. “Whatever, as long as it’s cold.”

He laughs and takes some bottle from the fridge and opens it, first taking a sip from it, not really caring to use the glass. The still awake “safety” part of Luna’s brain appreciates this reassurance that nothing suspicious is there, so she takes the bottle and drinks a little.

It tastes bitter, but just a little since it’s probably been sitting in the fridge for a long while, something in her head dims, and that was apparently more than she could have drunk for one night, because everything goes blank.

[mari-matsu]

Shelter Special Chapter

~Special pt. 1~

“Alright, so why are we the only ones gathered over here?” Kataoka asked in a hushed whisper, only because Rio insisted on it, as she cast wondering eyes to the side where the male members of the E-class was at. She briefly observed them laugh, talk, or remain stoically silent, before drifting her eyes back to attention. Her brow had quirked up as she observed the blonde across the circular table. “Also, has anyone seen (Y/N)-chan yet?”

At her words, a mumble of no rose over the group before it hushed into silence. Rio took this as a chance to say, “I have called you all here because we have an important mission to do.” She then rubbed her hands maliciously, as if she was ready to commit a crime. “We need to plan this to the last detail. Which is why I had the guys stay over there, they were going to be a distraction.” And the look in her eyes made a handful of the girls wary over this mission.

“But what is it that we have to do? You can’t just expect us to agree when we don’t know anything.” Yada commented before sipping her shake and Rio mildly rolled her eyes.

“I was getting to that,” Then she gave off a wide grin- paused for dramatic effect- before exclaiming, “We’re going to play cupid!” And she expectantly wiggled her hands as she waited for their reactions. But upon seeing blank stares around, Rio sighed before saying, “Come on, it’s going to be fun. Plus, wouldn’t you guys want to proudly say that you brought these two people together during their wedding?” The playful tone she used brought the rest of the girls to be curious. Just who did Rio want together?

So Kanzaki took the initiative to ask her. Rio turned on her then with a bright grin, “(Y/N)-chan of course!” She said with a clap of her hands. At that a rise of understanding noises came from the group, seeing as how you’re the only girl not included in this talk, before it hushed into confusion. Hinata asked who they were going to pair you up with and Rio smirked, “Sugino-kun.”

A sudden shout of indignation sounded from the gymnast, “No offense to Sugino-kun but I don’t agree on (Y/N)-chan marrying him.” And upon Hinata’s words, Rio cried in outrage as a mumble of agreement resounded in a handful of girls. The blonde asked her for her reasons and Hinata stood up, hands on her waist as she said, “Because I think that Isogai-kun would be better for her!”

And a round of dismay began as Hayami quietly agreed with her, “No, and no, if it’s anyone it should be Karma. Have you seen the way he’s interacting with her lately? It’s gotta be him!” Kayano interjected and Hinano nodded in enthusiastic agreement. Instantly after that, Okuda and Kanzaki expressed their thoughts on how you should end up with Nagisa, while Kataoka and Yada pointed out that Maehara would benefit with having a nice girlfriend.

As the exchange happened, Rio frowned at the different opinions that were being said. She intended for everyone to just agree with her since she thought Sugino was the best choice, but she didn’t expect her friends thinking differently. In her eyes, Sugino was the boyfriend for you and teasing material for Rio, and Rio stood up to exclaim her own thoughts, when all of a sudden, Yuzuki began to chuckle at the mini-fight.

“You guys are thinking about this wrong,” Yuzuki said, hand under her chin as she striked a thoughtful pose. Gathering the girl’s attention, she then smirked before saying, “While all of those guys would be great for (Y/N)-chan, there’s only one who currently likes her the most. Judging by the way he’s always looking at her, and how he’s always making sure to greet her every morning, it can only be him.” Then she made a show of whipping her hand out, like she was fluttering an imaginary cape, before stating, “The perfect man for (Y/N)-chan is,” Pause for dramatic effect as everyone inclined to listen, “SUGINO-KUN!” And when she extravagantly pointed to the baseball lover, an outburst of disagreement started from the girls except for Rio. She had excitedly grinned as she gave Yuzuki a high-five.

“So what if he does all that? Maehara does the same and he’s going to end up with her!” shouted Yada and Kataoka, rising up to their feet. Hinano and Kayano joined in a heartbeat later with their support for Karma, and Hinata jumped in to the fray with Hayami giving out her powerful inputs every now and then for Isogai. Manami and Kanzaki remained sitting, voices soft as they countered back for Nagisa, but their emotions were clearly expressed on their features. Everyone was determined as they debated. It seemed like your friends had thought about whom you should end up with.

As this went on in the girls’ table, the males curiously looked up at the ruckus they were making. As they pondered over what the hell the girls were going on about, Isogai asked out loud, “Is anyone up to asking them what’s wrong?” A moment of silence settled over the men before they simultaneously called out no. Isogai sighed at the response before resuming his talk with Maehara. Although he had asked, he didn’t quite have the intention of including himself in what could potentially kill him. So the pleasant and chill atmosphere that had wrapped around the boys prior to the question came back again.

“Okay! We all clearly have different ideas!” Rio shouted, stepping up on the table to stop the verbal fight. When the cries died down, Rio set her eyes in determination and said, “I wanted to use this day to get Sugino-kun and (Y/N)-chan together, but let’s do this instead. We’ll have (Y/N)-chan spend one hour with the guy that we support! By the end of the day, whichever guy she had the most fun with will be the guy she dates. Agreed?”

At the proposal, a spark of challenge burned in the girls’ eyes and they all nodded in sync. In their fired up hearts, they thought that this was the best way to settle the debate that took hold of them. With that, they exchanged a competitive smirk before separating into their determined teams, a burning aura around them.

Hara and Kirara, who had refrained from speaking during the fight, just let out a sigh. Hara came because she expected a food outing with everyone, while Kirara didn’t even want to be present. That said the girls gave each other an empathetic look before getting up together to wander around, making sure to stay away from the competition the others have made.

 ~*~*~*~

 “Mom, Dad, I’m leaving!” You shouted as you hurriedly took off your apron. You then slung your bag over your shoulder before quirking an eyebrow up at the lack of response from your parents. Turning in an agitated manner, you gave your co-worker and friend a questioning look. “Where are my mom and dad?” You asked as you waited mildly impatient for the other to finish ringing up a bag of cookies.

“They’re in the back getting more supplies. They said come back before six so you have enough time.” The other curtly replied and you frowned when he gave you a blank look. He then smiled politely at the customer next in line and your frown deepened. You eyes the way the tan male ignored you, his long tied up silver hair swaying behind him as he moved to satisfy the customer’s requests.

Huffing, you said, “Gin, why are you always so cold to me?” And Gin, with his cold purple eyes, merely gave you another blank stare before passing you a bag filled to the brim with cookies. Instantly smiling, you beamed up at your tall friend as you took the treats and put it carefully in your bag. “Never mind, I’ll be off then.” Then you waved over your shoulders, politely greeted the customers in line, and then dashed straight into the crowd.

It was a Sunday. The sun was already high in the sky, beaming its menacing rays at everyone who dared to go outside. And that included you, the daughter of a well-known pastry chef and restaurateur. You were just recently helping both your parents manage their famous joint shops, the one you’ve been missing school for the past few days to help set up. It’s centered in the most-anticipated Sweet Street, which ended up being a whole area dedicated to food.

You were incredibly ecstatic when you first found out that your parents set up shop at a whole street dedicated to your one and only food, but you were quite agitated later on. It’s mainly because you made plans with your friends to meet up at the center square the day the street opened up. However, you’re unable to actually do so until now, when you’re a whole hour and a half late.

Grimacing at the thought of how incredibly tardy you were, you sped up your walk to a run as you weaved between teens, food enthusiasts, and families who were already enjoying themselves in this massive food court. You mentally referred to the somewhat memorized map of the place and tried to make your way to the meet up area, which was a giant fountain. It wasn’t that hard since you knew the way to get there, but the amount of people blocking and crisscrossing in your path was a nuisance. Groaning, you just sucked it up and hurried.

In addition to being so late, you had to be back at the shop in six or so hours. The reason being was that you had invited your friends over so they can taste your cooking. That way they can unwind before testing next week. However, in order for you to let your friends taste your food, you had to be back early to cook the food by yourself. Which means you can’t walk around and try everything.

You promptly teared up at the idea of not eating all that is to be offered, before you skid into a halt. You didn’t notice, due to your internal dilemma, but you had already made it to the square. Quickly, you searched for your friends and found to your sweet relief that they were waiting at the fountain. That said, you swiftly ran up to them with an apologetic and yet warm smile on your face.

“Hey! Sorry that I’m late.” You apologized instantly, “I had to help out at the shop first so you guys can come in later. I hope that you all don’t mind, but-.” Then your voice trailed off the moment your female friends turned to you. Morphing your apologetic expression into confusion, you eyed the way they were burning a fiery gaze at you. Tensing at the sight, you said, “I am so sorry. I didn’t think that you guys would be that angry.”

“Angry?” Kataoka said with a suspicious grin and you take a moment to step back. Yada quickly blocked your backing by laying her hand on your shoulder. Somehow, you felt like prey and you gulped when they laughed sweetly. “No, (Y/N)-chan we’re not angry. In fact, we’re pretty happy that you’re here.” The moment the words left her lips, you were pushed forward by Yada. Stumbling, you were only able to catch yourself when your fingers ghosted over an arm. You instantly wrapped your hands around it, and breathed a sigh of relief upon straightening up.

What was Yada thinking? You turned around to pout at your friend, when all of a sudden she was gone from your line of sight. Whirling around, you noticed that everyone else was gone too. Except for whomever you had a hold on. Drifting your gaze up, you find to your surprise, that Maehara was the only one with you. He grinned down at you and your phone rang at that moment.

“Have fun, (Y/N)-chan! We’ll talk to you later in an hour!” Yada’s voice came humming through the speaker when you answered it, before it curtly cut off then. A long drone was the only thing you can hear. Sighing, you let go of Maehara to pout. You honestly thought that you would be doing this with your friends. Turns out, you were going to have to tour this place with Maehara. Don’t get it wrong, you were happy to have your brunette friend. But you just thought it would be more fun with the others.

Turning slightly sad eyes to Maehara, you said, “Why’d everyone ditched us?” The sadness you were experiencing was enough to make Maehara’s grin falter. For some reason, seeing your dejected look made him dejected as well. It’s not like you, and he didn’t like seeing you… well, not you. So he did the first thing he thought would get you out of your glum. He poked you.

“I don’t know why, but what I do know is that I get to have a date with an awesome girl.” He winked and you rolled your eyes playfully at his successful attempt to cheer you up. Putting on your signature smile, you poked him back before gesturing forward. Taking the hint, the two of you walked aimlessly side-by-side since there’s nothing else to do. “Seeing as how you didn’t react to my earlier statement, you cool with this being a date?” Maehara suddenly asked, hands behind his head, and you nodded.

“Yeah, I’m fine with it. A date is just a date anyways. Besides, that would mean that you’ll have to pay for my food.” And the sudden sly smile you had on made Maehara laugh. Of course, you weren’t bothered with dates. To you, they were just another outing. Despite the fact that you would go incredibly giddy when others go on dates, you didn’t think much of it.

“Alright, I’ll pay for the food. But because of that, you’re now getting the full experience of a date.” Then Maehara did his flirtatious smile as he said coolly, “You look very pretty today, (Y/N)-chan.”

At his words, you looked down at your clothing with a pondering look. What you were wearing, was honestly simple. You figured you’ll be walking a lot so you wore shorts for mobility, converse to run in, and your top consisted of a plain white v-neck with a vest to top it off. You weren’t really going for style, and had opted for light clothing, basically nothing that could be labeled pretty. So you replied to him slowly, “Thanks, but I feel like that’s a hollow statement.”

“I’m being serious,” Maehara insisted before swinging an arm around your shoulders. You minutely tilted your head to the side at his words.

“I find that hard to believe,” You mumbled out and he tossed you a wondering gaze. Giving out an apologetic smile, you told him, “I heard that you’re quite the playboy. Getting caught cheating five times, and flirting with everybody. You’re a womanizer, Maehara. Its instinct for you to give compliments mindlessly.” And upon your words, Maehara’s hands tensed. You weren’t aware of it but your words actually stung him.

He knew that he was a playboy. Maehara went around saying sweet nothings to girls everywhere and he wasn’t the least bit bothered when others caught him cheating. But somehow when you announced it to him, he felt extremely guilty and shameful. It’s like he doesn’t want you to associate him as a playboy even if he was one. Maehara wanted you to connect him to a genuine person who can be honest about things like compliments. He doesn’t understand why you of all people managed to make him this guilty, but you do. So that said, Maehara brought his hand down from your shoulder to your waist.

You pause in your walk to eye the hand around your torso before looking up at the brunette. He was blankly looking forward, obviously in deep thought, and you curiously waved a hand in front of his face. ���Hey, Maehara, are you okay? You’re like really out of it?” You said when you suddenly got pulled closer to him. You blinked in surprise from the action.

“(Y/N)-chan,” Maehara began and you turned stunned orbs to him as he said, “You really do look pretty today… You’re wearing something simple, but it really just brings out the natural beauty you have.” And for some odd reason, you felt like he’s telling the truth.

You can only deduce this because he doesn’t have that coquettish grin, but rather a soft smile was on his face. Looking at the clear as day sincerity in his features, you found yourself surprised at the honesty. That said your cheeks lightly turned red at the compliment. From what you recall, no one has ever told you outright that you were pretty. “Thanks for the honest compliment.” You find yourself mumbling before smiling when you said, “Maybe you’re not as much of a playboy as I thought you were.”

Then Maehara laughed, pleased that your outlook of him changed, before saying, “I’m glad that you think so. But umm, don’t take this as a playboy action or a pick-up thing, but do you mind just staying in my arms for a while?” At his words, you raised an eyebrow, but nonetheless nodded since you trust his words. However, you did ask him why to which Maehara said, “Too many guys are looking at you and I don’t like the way they’re looking.”

At that you subtly flickered your eyes to observe your surroundings, and found his words to be true. There were these high schoolers who were gazing at you in a rather disgusting way. Finding a shiver wrack your spine, you unconsciously leaned closer to Maehara. “Yeah, you don’t need to ask twice.” And although Maehara chuckled at your words, his grip around your waist tightened to a protective hold. “So bodyguard, what do you want to do today?”

Maehara hummed in thought as he casually steered you away from the high schoolers, before saying, “It’s already noon and I have a feeling that you’re hungry. But how about we check out the waterworks? They’re supposed to be putting up a water show about now.” He suggested and you beamed up at him, even though you were denied food, as he guided you to the destination, arm still around you gently.

Minutes into your comfortable and light walk filled with a lot of laughter and chatter, Maehara suddenly tensed. You were in the middle of recounting a baking accident this morning, when you noticed his action. Looking up with worried eyes, you followed his line of sight which steely stared at only one person. Somehow, you recognized this girl amongst her friends. This girl in particular, hung around Seo Tomoya who was honestly a pain to you.

You can distinctly remember the way they interacted with each other, and you noted how it was incredibly intimate, practically romantic. And you knew that she and Seo were dating. Drifting your eyes back to Maehara you noticed the way he’s just blankly staring at her, as if he can no longer feel anything for her and you quickly nudged his side.

“Hey, you okay?” You asked quietly and Maehara snapped out of his stupor to give you an awkward chuckle. He then continued forward, not hearing your question, as his smile to you became forced. Frowning, you then said, “What’s bothering you? You can talk to me about anything, you know.”

And Maehara felt that was true. He wanted to tell you everything, kind of rely on you a little bit. But he didn’t particularly want to bring up that girl. However, when he saw the pouting look you were showering him with, Maehara reluctantly spilled the story. “She’s Kaho Tsuchiya, my ex-girlfriend.” Then he regaled the story of how she was dating him as a side boyfriend when Seo was busy. Maehara explained how Kaho dumped him right when she got caught by the current boyfriend, but he refrained from saying how he was beaten up. From past experiences, he didn’t want you to fret over him, thus he said nothing about the end.

When he finished, you were quiet. You instantly hated this Kaho girl and you wanted to march right up to her and shout at her for the cheating she committed. However, you inhaled calmly and decided that it’ll be better to just comfort him. Taking hold of the hand on your hip, you gently pulled Maehara forward. The male just blinked at you, confused, before the two of you stopped in front of your destination.

Jointed fountains sprayed water in the air, forming rainbows over the people eagerly throwing coins for a wish. Seven aeration jets sent a large eruption of foamy white water high in the sky, before it transitioned into beautiful arcs like a wave. The sight was beautiful, honestly one of the prettiest you’ve ever seen. But you barely paid attention to it.

Ignoring the sight for now, you turned to Maehara and held his hand tenderly. Quietly, you said, “I’m sorry for asking. And while I would go ahead and tell you that you shouldn’t focus on that girl, I’m going to cut right ahead to the end. She doesn’t deserve you. You’re worthy of having a girl that’s ten times better than her.” That said you opened your bag with your other hand before taking out a coin. Displaying it for only a fraction of a second, you then flicked it high in the air.

A small splash in the fountain notified you that it neatly landed in the water and you softly smiled up at Maehara. “I wish that you would find the perfect girl for you.” Then you cautiously wrapped your arms around him in a comforting manner.

Maehara, who was stunned by your actions, suddenly felt the world slowing down around him. His head was spinning and he felt a bit light-headed. Maehara’s heart was beating faster than he knew was normal and for a moment he wondered if he’s sick. But when you laid your head on his chest, his cheeks flooded with pink and he’s suddenly positive that he’s sick.

It’s the only reason. He never felt this way before so Maehara thought he’s coming down with something bad. This was the first time he’s experiencing this and he should be worried, but for some reason he doesn’t think it’s a bad thing, because through the whole sick-like symptoms, he’s feeling euphoric. Sickly and yet energized, and the guy can’t put his finger on it. 

A soft smile was on your face and his mind was completely frayed at that beautiful look you’re showing. You’re telling Maehara something, but the guy can’t comprehend it because he can only focus on your pretty smile before you turned away.

“(Y/N),” Maehara said and you hummed after gazing in awe at the display of showers, the rhythmic pumping of jets, as the fountain did its best to entertain the sightseers. “Why do I want to open up to you?” The words came out unintentionally, and Maehara felt astounded at the way they slipped out so easily. He didn’t mean to say something like that, but he felt himself unwinding around you. He can’t figure out why, but it was easier to feel relaxed with you... it felt easier to say what he wanted to say... and it’s a mystery to the brunette, but he accepted it.

“Hmm, what did you say Maehar- OMG LOOK AT THAT! THE WATER IS SO HIGH!” You became distracted by the streams of jets shooting straight up, a wall of water suddenly becoming erect in front of you, and you gaped at the sheer power yet beauty.

Maehara quirked a small smile at the sight of your childish behavior, finding it highly adorable. Grinning, he slid his eyes off of you and towards the sight of fountain. Moving his arms so that it slung comfortably on your shoulder, Maehara quietly said, “It’s nothing,” before pulling you closer to his side.  You never noticed the action as your eyes gleamed with excitement while Maehara’s shined with hidden adoration for you.

 ~*~*~*~

 “Don’t you think a dessert would be nice right now,” You suddenly commented as you swung your intertwined hands between you. Sugino could only nod as his face turned beet red at the skin contact. He couldn’t believe that you were holding his hand. Sugino can feel the heat emanating from you, how soft your hand was, and how completely real it was in his. And the touch was honestly sending him on cloud nine. Honestly, he could just run into a wall and the only thing he would feel were these fluttering emotions in his heart.

Bam

When Sugino had thought that in his head, he wasn’t actually being legit. Stumbling back, he held his forehead due to the sudden ache as his eyes narrowed at the pole he ran into. Annoyance formed in his heart, before it quickly shifted to embarrassment upon hearing your tinkling laughter. He moved to cover his blushing face, but found that your hands were still together, and his embarrassment turned into a mess as his emotions cluttered in him all over again. Never mind, he was being legit when he said he would still feel those emotions in his heart.

“Are you okay?” You asked him through light giggles and Sugino stuttered out an, I’m fine. You brightly beamed at him as you said, “I’m so sorry for laughing by the way. It was just so funny because you were so out of it that you didn’t even hear me warn you.” At your words, the baseball lover mentally chided himself for being so dazed. “Anyways, just stick close to me so you won’t hit anymore poles.” Then you gave him a wink before aimlessly going forward, unconscious of how much Sugino’s heart was pounding.

Fifty minutes have passed since you and Maehara were watching the water show (you were watching, Maehara was watching you with a stupid grin on his face), and you’re currently touring the area with Sugino. You can’t quite remember what happened, but one minute you were enjoying the sight while holding Maehara’s hand, and the next you were facing a nervous Sugino. Rio and Yuzuki then called you on your phone and told you that they needed Maehara for something, so they left Sugino with you as company.

You didn’t think much of what transpired you were just happy that you weren’t alone. That said you happily beamed at nothing as you looked for something to eat. You were pretty hungry since you didn’t have lunch.

While looking for something that would interest you, a brightly colored neon yellow sign got your attention. Stopping to check it out, your eyes lit up in glee at the words pudding largely printed on it with an arrow below pointing in a direction. Tightening your grip on Sugino’s hand, you said excitedly, “Sugino let’s have pudding!” Then you swiftly ran in the direction of the arrow, which lead to another poster, and then another, until you were looking at a brightly colored banner claiming that you reached your destination.

Cheering, you didn’t hesitate to pull the winded baseball lover inside the shop, which the banner was obviously pointing at. It was full, the whole place was incredibly packed and it didn’t lower your happiness, since to you it meant that the pudding was great. That said you hurriedly lined up behind a couple, eager to get your pudding. With eyes roaming the menu hanging above your heads, you asked Sugino, “So what would you like to get?”

His eyes flickered to the board in thought, after catching his breath from the unexpected running, before he said rather quietly, “Chocolate pudding.”

At his words, you brightly beamed at him, “I was thinking of the same thing.” Then the couple in front of you left and you strode up to the counter. “Two chocolate puddings, please,” The cashier nodded at your order before pausing. She glanced, discreetly, to the side and quirked an eyebrow up. Two girls, who you knew very well, enthusiastically waved their hands above their head and the cashier immediately started beaming.

Before the two of you came in the shop, Rio and Yuzuki had entered with a bunch of quickly made posters. They had asked the cashier and the manager of the place if they were fine if they put them up. Of course, the two were wary on why these junior high schoolers were asking of such a thing, but upon hearing that it was in an attempt to get you and Sugino together, they immediately agreed. It was mainly because the manger and the cashier were romantics. So with that the cashier has been keeping an eye out for you and Sugino, ready to launch you guys into a plan that Rio and Yuzuki made.

Keeping her excitement, the cashier said, “Excuse me, instead of two chocolate puddings how about one? We have an offer for couples to get one large pudding and it costs less than what two separate ones would. What do you say?” She offered and she grinned at the bright eyes you had upon hearing it.

“One pudding?” Sugino gaped in disbelief and his heart raced at the thought of you sharing with him. Then, as if he was suddenly hit by it, Sugino staggered back when he thought of something. Sharing one food meant… Indirect Kiss?! His internal dilemma went by unnoticed by you as you happily agreed to the cashier’s words. In return, the lady grinned at the sight of Sugino being a sudden stuttering mess.

“Alright then, one couple’s chocolate pudding coming up,” She then explained what the total was and you nodded in thought. You reached for a hand to your bag when Sugino took that time to break out of his stupor. Quickly acting, he whipped out his other hand, keeping your hands still together, and then pulled out his wallet. Although he was still freaking out over the sharing bit, he was still conscious enough to act like a gentleman.

That said, before you could protest, Sugino had pulled out enough money to cover up the expenses. The lady internally cheered for the brave actions of the baseball lover before excusing herself to get the dessert. While she was gone, you turned to Sugino with a mild pout, “I could’ve paid for it you know. It wouldn’t have been a problem.”

Then Sugino managed to give you a smile, as he said abashedly, “I have to do this for you. Otherwise, what kind of a guy am I?”

Without missing a beat, you said, “You would still be the guy I know and love, Sugino.” Then you tore your gaze away from him as the cashier came back with the large pudding and one plastic spoon. Clapping your hands, you broke away from Sugino to retrieve the dessert as the baseball lover stood rigid upon your words. You would still be the guy I know and love… Still be the guy… I love.

His face exploded in red and he found his heart beat pumping faster and faster, as you searched for a table to sit at. Like it was mentioned before, the place was packed, but fortunately there was one table in the corner that was completely free. Eagerly directing Sugino to it, you sat down and waited for Sugino to do the same. However, he hesitated.

The table you chose was specifically made to get two people to interact with each other. It was small, which meant that your knees would constantly be brushing together and that you would be so close, even closer since the two of you were sharing. Immediately, Sugino got flustered as you pulled him down to the seat across from you, since he wasn’t moving at all.

“Sugino, you’ve been pretty stiff lately.” You commented as you delicately held a plastic spoon between your fingers, and you glanced up at him, oblivious of the blush on his cheeks. “Just let lose, have fun. It’s a day where we can just eat and laugh.” Then you smiled as you spooned some pudding on the utensil, “Here, try some it’ll help you unwind.” And Sugino’s heart hammered even more when you hovered the spoon next to his lips.

In the corner, a little ways away from the two of you, Rio and Yuzuki were clasping their hands together in anticipation. The manager of the shop, who was the one who purposefully left that seat open just for the two of you, joined the girls as she held in a baited breath. The cashier lady couldn’t focus on you two since she had a customer to tend to, but her eyes continuously darted over to check on you both. All four of them had one thought in their minds. Eat the pudding Sugino!

Sugino was still feeling his emotions skyrocket and was seriously debating on whether or not to eat the dessert. However, he made up his mind the moment you brightly smiled at him. He just couldn’t deny you. That said he hesitantly leaned forward before opening his mouth to eat the dessert. His eyes were tightly closed shut as he does so and he soon tasted rich chocolate.

You giggled at the rather adorable action your friend made, before asking him, “Was it good?” And when Sugino nodded, you didn’t hesitate to spoon out some pudding and taking a bite with the same spoon. Your eyes widened and you found yourself melting at the taste, “Oh my god, this is heaven!” And you quickly took two more bites before holding more out for Sugino.

The male couldn’t take another bite because he practically fainted at the spot.

“Eh? Sugino? Are you okay?” You carefully dropped the spoon as your eyes dilated to worry, “Sugino? Hey, Sugino come one speak to me. Sugino!” Rio and Yuzuki gave each other high fives as they squealed next to the manager of the shop, who was gushing along with them. The cashier can only hold in her delighted squeals at the sight, before focusing on the next customers. The manager and cashier didn’t know who the two of you were, but they were completely rooting for your relationship.

“Someone, I need some help, my friend fainted!”

 ~*~*~*~

 “And that’s when Rio and Yuzuki came in to take him away. They said something about success and then they were gone… So then Manami and Kanzaki came up to me and took me away. And now here I am,” You chuckled before stopping completely to gaze worriedly at the pavement. Nagisa paused in eating his ice-cream to furrow his brows. You weren’t happy, and you weren’t smiling, that immediately made Nagisa have this urge to cheer you up.

That said he instinctively held your hand in a comforting manner, “He’ll be fine. Sugino isn’t the kind who’ll fall that easily. You’ll see him up and healthy in no time.” And you smile weakly at him before straightening up. He’s right, you’re friend was a strong guy. Sugino will be alright. Reassured, you softly smiled at Nagisa before laughing.

Nagisa tilted his head at the sudden burst of laughter, and you answered his silent question by gesturing to his clothes, “Nagisa, we’re wearing couple outfits.” You then let out another wave of giggles as said male blushed in an abashed manner.

Like you said, the two of you were practically wearing couple outfits. Nagisa was wearing jeans the same color as your shorts, and his shirt was definitely a v-neck. He had his hands resting against a similar colored vest, and if you glanced at his shoes, you would notice that Nagisa was wearing the same converse as you. The two of your outfits matched together so well, that you suddenly had a bright idea.

Beaming innocently, you said, “Let’s go around and get couple discounts!”

Nagisa was taken aback at your comment while his heart unconsciously sped up at the innocent statement you made. He raised his hands to calm down your suddenly mischievous manner before saying, “Wouldn’t that be cheating though? You’re going to trick these people so you would pay less.”

Then you grinned slyly as you said, “What if it’s not a trick?” Then he threw you a confused manner before you clarified with, “Nagisa, let’s be a couple for today.” Your bluenette friend immediately grew flustered at your statement, and he waved his hands in front of him actively. You gave him an impish grin, “It’s only going to be today. Come on. Let’s have some fun while we’re at it!”

Nagisa shook his head and said, “No, (Y/N)-chan. We’re not going to trick these hardworking people.” Then you ultimately sighed, having already understood what his answer would be. But hey, you thought it might be worth a shot. So you then linked your arms together, like you usually do, before absentmindedly walking forward, but a smile was on your face at the small and playful banter you just had.

Your bluenette friend eyed the way you were walking in high spirits, and inaudibly sighed in relief. He liked seeing you happy. It always warmed his heart knowing that you’ll remain positive and joyful. It’s like you’re wrapping him in a protective hug with every soft smile you make, and your laugh was a comfort to him. To Nagisa, you were like his beacon of happiness and he would be seriously cheerless when your bright light flickered off. That said he was so glad that you were smiling again.

“Hmm, so what do you want to today?” You asked out of the blue and Nagisa blinked at the ice cream he was still holding. The two of you already ate, at least Nagisa knew you did from the story you told him a minute ago. Thus, you both weren’t up for another food outing, and the two of you weren’t particularly geared to do anything else. So with nothing to do, Nagisa settled for small talk.

Directing you to a bench under the shade of a tree, Nagisa said, “(Y/N)-chan, if you don’t mind me asking, why were you so late this morning?” The two of you then quietly sat together in the park the food center had.

“You know that my parents have a store here, right? Well, I had to help them out since they didn’t expect the large influx of customers. They had to call in the others before I could go. Sorry about that, I know that you guys were all waiting for me.” You mumbled sheepishly and Nagisa smiled understandingly.

“It’s fine. You were needed there; there was nothing you can do.” He said reassuringly and you beamed at him. Like with the rest of your past, Nagisa was quite aware of how you were the daughter of a famous restaurateur and pastry chef long before your classmates did. He knew the responsibilities you had and that those were the reasons you’ve been missing out on school last week. And he was completely understanding with that knowledge.

“Yeah… Oh Gin gave me some cookies by the way,” You noted before taking out the bag of treats. “I almost forgot about it. Here, we can share it.” Then you opened up the bag and an aroma of vanilla wrapped around you. You smiled at the scent before reaching in and taking one to offer it to Nagisa. The male gratefully accepted, heart unknowingly skipping a beat when your fingers brushed his, before nibbling on it quietly. “Gin’s really good at baking.” You praised and Nagisa laughed as he silently agreed.

“How is he by the way? I haven’t heard from him in forever.” And at his words you launched to telling stories about the rather stoic male as a fond smile spread on your lips. Nagisa didn’t mind that you guys had nothing planned to do or that you were just talking. He was quite content just listening to you and your day. It’s something that he kind of started looking forward to after the assembly. It’s mainly because your eyes always lit up when you talk about the happy moments. It just made him incredibly happy to see you smile.

And as you conversed under the shade, Kanzaki and Manami happily beamed behind the trunk of a tree. They were quietly watching you both, not at all wanting to interfere. To the two of them, they were quite happy with the way you two were progressing. They were both quiet people, so this kind of interaction was perfectly romantic for them. Smiling, they just shuffled off to the side wanting to give you both space.

“So yeah, he’s pretty good. Besides the whole not talking thing, he’s still the same as ever.” Then a laugh bubbled out as you say, “I still can’t believe that he’s only four years older than us. Sooner or later, he’s going to graduate from high school and then be a world-famous chef.” And your features smoothed into a fond smile before you faced Nagisa excitedly. “Hey do you remember when we would force him to smile for us?”

Nagisa quickly caught on the memory as he chuckled, “Yeah, and he would pout at us before sitting in the corner. He was more of a kid than we were.” You giggled, completely agreeing with him.

“And then the times when he would glare at us because we wouldn’t stop laughing.”

“We had to give him apology cookies so that he would stop.”

“I remember that! My mom would wonder what we’re doing in the kitchen.”

“She was so angry at the mess.”The two of you shared a reminiscing laugh while you tried to calm down. Your stomach was aching and you can’t stop the tears of mirth from coming. These were all good memories, something that you deeply treasured, and you honestly loved how you and Nagisa can share this.

A sudden memory came on your mind and you breathed though the laughter to say, “Oh and the time when you cross-.” You stopped. As if someone had flicked a switch, the smile you had on your face, your melodious laughter, it all stopped. Horror was splayed on your face, and you quickly clamped a hand over your mouth. You can’t believe you were about to say it.

Nagisa’s laughter soon died down a minute after yours did, and he blinked curiously at the sight of you. “(Y/N)-chan, are you okay?” The worry in his eyes had you beating yourself up. Bobbing your head, you told him yes. But he wasn’t convinced. “You can tell me. We’re best friends.”

That’s why I can’t tell you. Because we’re best friends, I know that what I was about to say would have been painful. “Sorry,” You just quietly mumbled and your gaze drifted to his hair. Instantly, Nagisa knew what you were about to say. Changing the concern in his eyes, he slowly settled back on the bench, the forgotten ice cream beginning to drip beside him. You observed the way he remained quiet and guilt blossomed in your heart. “I’m sorry, Nagisa. I didn’t mean to. I just remembered it and then-.”

“It’s alright.” Nagisa said quietly. He shifted his azure eyes to yours and briefly smiled. “You remembered it because it was a good time, right?” And you froze when he got it right. “In some way, it kind of was. Before my mom really became strict about… the girl stuff, it was pretty fun. You would come by and then we would all play dress up. My mom was happy, you were happy, and dad would be too. It was a good memory.”

A good memory, maybe, but it ultimately led to a bad one. Frustrated at your ignorance, you balled your hand before casting your eyes at your lap. You vowed to protect your loved ones, but here you were giving Nagisa pain. “Can we not speak of this,” You whispered, feeling the guilt that you ruined this peaceful outing with Nagisa.

Your friend just smiled softly before grabbing your hand, “It’s alright if you bring up this topic around me. I’ll be fine; you were there to help me anyways, so I really have no grudge against this.” Then you shifted shocked eyes at him. He was just beaming gently down at you, grateful emotions in his eyes and you teared up a bit. “Even after all the stuff my mom did, even when… my dad left. You were always there trying to make it a little bit better. So it’s fine if you mention it, because every memory I have with you is a good memory.”

With that, tears clouded your vision and you silently laid your head on his shoulder. The rest of your time with Nagisa ended up silent, but comfortable. While the two of you won’t say anything out loud, you were both reminiscing memories together.

[neraawritesxx]

Thank you for the request, dear Anon! I hope you like what I came up with. A little angst, a little fluff, and some doctor!Sakura? A perfect combination!

title: lean on prompt: just please be my best friend right now, not the guy I confessed my love to pairing: naruto x sakura word count: 2,354 genre: angsty (really, it’s just wangst lol) // friendship // romance

He found her on his porch, leaning up against the front door, curled up in a sopping wet ball.

There was a split second where Naruto worried he had somehow managed to lock Sasuke out of the house again, but one glimpse of the damp, bubblegum pink hair revealed who exactly his surprise visitor was.

The blond approached with caution.

Naruto hadn’t heard from her in weeks – not since their falling out after, what he now dubbed, ‘the incident’ – and something deep in his chest ached at the sight of her, shivering and soaked to the bone on his doorstep.

What could she possibly be doing here? Now? After all this time?

“Sakura-chan?” Naruto tentatively called out.

At the sound of his voice, the rosette’s head snapped up at breakneck speed; flat, dispirited green orbs locked with his own. They were bloodshot and swollen from crying, rimmed with sunken pools of onyx. The same faded makeup framed the tear tracks which ran down the roundness of both cheeks. Where the wet, sloppy mix of mascara and eyeliner didn’t cover alabaster skin, Sakura’s complexion was flushed with angry, blister-like red patches.

In the back of his mind, Naruto vaguely remembered his best friend informing him that she usually broke out in hives when she was severely upset.

It took a moment for murky viridian depths to recognize him, but after they grew impossibly wide with acknowledgment, the dam broke.

Sakura’s face crumpled in turmoil, and a strangled, agonized wail escaping her parted, chapped lips. She scrambled to stand, her movements overwrought and frantic as she half-crawled, half-launched herself in his direction.

Naruto met her halfway, panic-stricken. He was so unused to seeing this side of his childhood friend.

He grunted with the force of their collision, instinctively wrapping one arm around her waist so that he could keep her upright. Sakura’s right hand clutched at the collar of his shirt, tugging impatiently on the cloth in tandem with her ragged breaths. One of her arms – he couldn’t tell which one at this point – was squished awkwardly between them and Naruto was sure there would be a bruise on his right bicep in the morning where Sakura’s left hand had the muscle imprisoned in a vice.

She was holding onto him as if he was her lifeline.

Just what was going on?

“I di-didn’t,” Sakura hiccupped between her tears. Her chin trembled against his collarbone, the wobbly movement causing her teeth to click together audibly. “I didn’t k-kn-now wh-where to go.”

Naruto’s chest tightened at her defeated confession, and that unnerved pang from earlier became all-consuming, a trickle of trepidation slithering down his spine.

The tenseness in Naruto’s shoulders – a stiffness that he hadn’t realized that he was carrying – deflated, and his body slumped forward, encompassing the petite, cherry-haired woman in a tender embrace.

Right now, Sakura needed him, and there was nothing that was going to stop him from helping her.

Their current fight be damned.

“Shh…,” The blond cooed affectionately. “Shh, Sakura-chan. It’s alright. I’m here.”

He wasn’t sure how long they remained under that awning, out in the rain, but enough time passed for his sweater to become drenched in a soggy blend of tears and the secondhand moisture from her own wet attire.

When a particularly strong gust of wind blew through the veranda, the fair-haired male quivered, though this time, not from the overabundance of repressed emotion.

Naruto expertly extracted himself from Sakura’s secure hold, maneuvering the distraught woman so that she was facing the front door, flush against his chest. His coral-haired best friend had calmed down significantly, sniffling almost soundlessly as she bonelessly leaned against him.

Sakura went along without a fuss as Naruto corralled her through the door and into the townhouse.

Luckily, at this time of day, neither of his roommates were home. Sasuke was somewhat inept when it came to dealing with a hysterical Sakura and Sai…well, if the hole in the kitchen wall amounted to anything, it was that the socially stunted artist now knew better than to call the rosette ‘ugly’ when she was distressed.

Shuffling Sakura into the living room, Naruto gently guided her to the couch, carrying most of her weight as he assisted her when she sat down. He tried to ignore the way the carpet gave a wet ‘squish’ underneath his sneakers, but he could already hear Sasuke bitching about the muddy mess they undoubtedly tracked throughout their home. The impending argument could wait, however, and Naruto brushed away any thoughts of the dark-haired Uchiha, instead focusing on studying Sakura face.

The color of her skin was eerily white, almost ashen in certain areas, contrasting greatly with the bright crimson that ran along her the expanse of her neck and the sides of her face.

“I’ll be right back…,” Naruto murmured, hesitating only slightly as he waited for her acknowledgment. It wouldn’t be worth the effort of leaving the room if he were to come back to find her bawling.

At the small bob of her head, the blond ventured off down the corridor to his bedroom. Naruto kicked off his shoes, socks included and traded in his sodden shirt for an extra-large, pullover sweat-shirt. He could make do with some damp jeans for now.

A quick rummage through a few of his dresser drawers produced a pair of gym shorts and one of his old, long-sleeved rugby jerseys. With unrepressed haste, Naruto exited his room, stopping only to deposit the extra clothing in the bathroom before returning to Sakura’s side.

She hadn’t moved, nor did she look in his direction upon his reappearance.

For a brief, unpleasant moment, Naruto felt out of place and out of his depth, warily watching her as the sound of his heartbeat revibrated in his ears.

He tried to shake discouraging awareness of it all, but the picture that Sakura presented, this unnaturally, heartbreaking tranquility, filled him with immeasurable dread.

Whatever happened to her to make her react in such a way, must have been monumentally significant. Childish theatrics and throwing tantrums wasn’t something that Sakura dabbled in; she never carried on like this without reason.

“Sakura-chan?” The blond ventured. Attempting to hide the slight note of discontent in his voice, Naruto cleared his throat before continuing, “I put some dry clothes in the bathroom for you. Why don’t you go get cleaned up and change, while I make us some tea?”

There was a pregnant pause, then tortuously slow, Sakura lifted her head, shifting her gaze in his direction with languid unhurriedness.

And for a long while, all she did was stare.

It was enough to make Naruto fidget in an uncharacteristic shift of antsy restlessness. Never, never in the history of their relationship had Naruto seen Sakura look so defeated.

Eventually, the pinkette rose from her perch, slipping out of the living room silently. Naruto turned to watch her pad down the hallway, disappearing into the designated sub-room. Only when he heard the soft ‘click’ of the bathroom door as it closed, did he finally move towards the kitchen.

-o-

A short while later found them both back in the sitting room. Naruto sat stiff as a board, in the middle of the couch while Sakura was on the floor, tucked between the sofa and the coffee table, a spare blanket from his bed securely wrapped around her shoulders.

She still refused to look in his direction, and Naruto wasn’t sure if he was relieved or not by the action.

This entire thing was a weirdly strange, convoluted mess and all Naruto wanted to do was talk to Sakura about what was going on, but he didn’t know what to say.

How do you comfort a woman who shows up on your doorstep, crying, after weeks of not talking to one another?

The same woman, who had previously confessed her love for you? A confession, mind you, that caused your brain to malfunction and your body to shut down, resulting in you just sitting there and staring at her like she sprouted another head?

Never in his wildest dreams did Naruto believe that Sakura felt anything other than close kinship towards him. He must have garnered a lot of bad karma in his previous life because when the situation presented itself, and he was given the opportunity to finally tell Sakura just how he felt, his mouth stopped working and his mind blanked.

It didn’t help that the rosette took his uncharacteristic silence as rejection, either.

As if Naruto Uzumaki would ever reject Sakura Haruno.

Naruto knew he was being absurd; that this was Sakura and she came to him in her time of need for a reason, but he was nervous, and it was awkward, and the last thing he wanted was for this entire situation to blow up right in his face like most things tended to do.

Despite his apparent desire to provide comfort, Sakura needed to be the one to initiate this discussion.

So, here he sat, idly twirling the mug of steaming green tea between his palms, trying to calm his array of frenzied nerves.

As if somehow sensing his internal dilemma, Sakura finally broke the silence.

“My patient died,” The emerald-eyed woman croaked, voice hoarse from disuse and her earlier breakdown.

Before Naruto could interject with remorse filled words of empathy, Sakura carried on, “He passed away on the operating table…he bled out…right underneath my very hands.”

Ah. Well, that explained it.

Sakura was always naturally drawn to people. She had some unquenchable thirst to help others, to seem them grow and mend with the aid of her skill. It was what fueled her motivation to attend medical school.

The death of a patient came with the territory of being in the medical profession. Thankfully, this only occurred in Sakura’s case twice before – and both times they hadn’t even been her direct patients – but she always took the news particularly hard.

Leaning forward, Naruto placed his cup on the glass tabletop, resting his left elbow on his knee for balance before setting his right hand on the shoulder that was closest to him.

“I’m sure it wasn’t your fault, Sakura,” He assured, giving her an encouraging squeeze.

“That’s the thing Naruto…this…it might be my fault.”

She still wouldn’t look him in the eye, but Naruto felt the muscle under his palm go rigid. She must have been scowling.

“He came in complaining of nausea, fatigue, and shortness of breath…or at least that’s what the referring doctor noted in his chart. There was a familial history of chronic heart disease and blood clots, so immediately, I started him on blood thinners while we were conducting preliminary tests.”

The rosette paused long enough to take a breath, then she said, “I thought it was congestive heart failure. If it wasn’t serious, a few changes to his diet and some medication could help. If it were severe, the best option would have been coronary artery bypass surgery. Either way, it wasn’t a complicated case.”

The shoulder in his grasp began to tremble, and her voice hitched an octave higher as she continued, “What no one told me, or noted in his paperwork, is that he had been in an accident a few days prior to the start his symptoms. While I was too busy focusing on his heart, because that is what his chart lead me to believe the issue was, blood had been pooling in the membrane between his brain and his skull. It’s called a subdural hematoma, and it only got worse because I put him on Coumadin. By the time I realized what was happening and went in to operate so that I could relieve some of the pressure…it was too late and he just…flatlined right on the table.”

She was crying again, her chest heaving with the force of her sobs. “Tsunade gave me a few days off because the hospital wants to look into what happened and figure out where the exact miscommunication occurred. She told me that everything would turn out alright in a few days and I was fine…but Naruto…I could lose my license, and I don’t know what to do! I didn’t know where to go…and I…I just needed you.”

Sakura leaned against the outside of his thigh, pressing her cheek into the already damp material of his jeans.

“I know things aren’t exactly copesetic between us at the moment, but please, just please be my best friend right now. I need the man that protected me from bullies when I was a kid, not the guy I confessed my love to.”

“I’m here,” Naruto rasped voice thick with emotion.

Unable to do much with their current seating arrangements, he lifted his hand from her shoulder, burying it in her short, pink locks. His thumb immediately began to knead small, soothing circles into the soft patch of skin behind her right ear.

He reiterated, “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

At his declaration, the floodgates opened again, and Sakura did her best to muffle her sorrow against his muscle of his hamstring. Naruto tried to ease her pain as best as he could, given the circumstances. A coo of consolation here and a kiss to her temple there. He gave what he could freely and without hesitance.

Under different conditions, he would have provided more verbal assurances, but right now, empty promises that everything would be alright would amount to nothing.

Sakura’s livelihood was on the line over a simple lack of communication, and there was nothing he could say that would ease her discomfort. It would be best let her get everything out, and when it was all over, they would pick up the pieces together. She wanted him there, and he would be; reliable, and stable, and ready to face anything that life tossed her way.

And maybe, when this whole thing was over, and their lives returned to a semblance of normalcy, they could finally sit down and talk about them.

After all, the woman who loved him needed to know that he felt the same.

Send me a pairing and a prompt!

[snkpolls]

SnK Chapter 100 Poll Results

The chapter 100 poll closed with 1,915 responses. When we compiled the write in comments, they filled a 65 page word document. Since we can only share a fraction of those, we are linking to the document so it can be viewed in entirety.

Thank you to everyone who participated.

  RATE THE CHAPTER 1,869 Responses

Close to 60% of the fandom gave this chapter the highest mark possible while those disapproving were negligible. Still, those selecting “5” on this highly anticipated chapter were down more than 10% from last month. 

Can I have my white-and-black morality back, Isayama? Please?

this manga has successfully crushed my moral beliefs into rubble and I don't know how to feel about it

I hadn't felt dead inside like this after reading a chapter since chapter 84.

I really like the interaction with Eren and Reiner. Reiner’s breakdown felt so real and honest and Isayama really conveyed that he was suffering .

I'm disappointed, I expected great things of this chapter. Isayama really tends to unnecessarily lenghten scenes that don't need to be. You'd think he would've learned about pacing by now. I guess the real shit will go down next chapter... hopefully.

If feels as though we're finally getting somewhere but I'm not sure I like where we're getting

It definitely lives up to the large expectations from being the 100th chapter

It is clear to me that this chapter was meant to tease us with the very beginning of the fight that is to come and it's quite sad that a part of the fandom fails to see that. We were purposefully given too few information or images to make conclusions of. Any possibility (almost everything included in this poll) seems likely at this point.

It was so close for another Marcel Flashback but mystery still endures. Dissapointent!

One hell of a milestone chapter. Isayama truly delivered.

the anime better knock this one out of the park in 2000 years lmao

January pls

  WHAT WAS THE MOST POWERFUL PART OF THE CHAPTER? 1,880 Responses

For the most powerful moment, “Eren’s titan transformation” takes a quarter of the vote, followed by “All of the above.” Reiner begging for Eren to kill him and “Attack on Willy“ round out the top four.

 "Did I say that? Please, forget I said that."

after watching the same scenarios over and over, i'd say to  finally see someone taking responsibilities of their actions: magath and will being conscious of the fact they are getting their hands dirty

Eren and his Freakish Toes

Eren's glare just before he transformed. And his flowing hair, are you sure he's not modelling for L'Oreal right now?!

For me, it was Eren's expressions throughout the chapter. Especially when he reacted to Willy's words.

Reiner. GET IT TOGETHER. Not the time, not the place, not the person you should be begging. But if you kept Falco alive and will fight for your fellow Eldians in the ghetto next chapter we're good.

ok but is there sour cream in marley?

  WHAT WAS THE MOST INTERESTING NEW INFORMATION 1,866 Responses

The walls being named for Ymir Fritz’s daughters and Willy knowingly being set up as a martyr were nearly tied for “most interesting new information”. And you people are honestly freaks because Duck Shaped Potties came in third.

  ISAYAMA DELIVERED ON THE BODY HORROR THIS CHAPTER. WHAT PART GROSSED YOU OUT THE MOST? 1,870 Responses

Carrot toes win by a landslide--and also made for the best write-in comments!

Dem Toes Be FREAKY

Don't regrow limbs anymore, please

Eren's foot regenerating is more gross than all the deaths in Attack on Titan I've ever seen. I hope he never does that again tbh.

Thank you for mentioning my "little baby carrots"

Everyone's complaining about the body horror, but I'm upset that Isayama held back on having Eren regenerate his left eyeball. Might've looked similar to Reiner when his head blew off, except with beautiful, long flowing hair.

the foot flower just (shudders).

as I try to gather my overwhelming amount of thoughts on this boy, and despite those gnarly baby toe sprouts close to ready for harvest, I will glorify those chiseled calves of a god.

THANKS MOM I CAN'T EAT BABY CARROTS EVER AGAIN

  ON A SCALE OF “YOU CAN STAY RIGHT THERE CRYING ON THE FLOOR” TO “I WILL HOLD YOU AND NEVER EVER LET YOU GO,” HOW BADLY DO YOU WANT TO HUG REINER AFTER THIS CHAPTER? 1,880 Responses

When I compare this to the chapter 93 poll where 21% had little to no sympathy for Reiner, 18% were non-committal, and the remaining 60% felt strongly about him, it appears that seven months later those numbers have remained constant. People either like Reiner or they don’t, and no amount of effort on Isayama’s (or the poll co-creator's) part is going to change that.

I would steal all the stars in the sky so that Reiner can be happy I sWeAr 

Never flipped opinion on a character faster than when we started seeing Reiner in Marley

Still finding it hard to care what happens to any of these characters.  Apart from Reiner.  He needs a hug, a strong drink and a long vacation.

I feel sorry for Reiner but I kinda got desensitized after watching him suffer so many times. He almost beats Levi in the worst life ever competition. I feel exhausted just thinking his life and suffering will continue... I can barely feel any sadness for him anymore, I think he should probably get his final rest soon.

A lot of Reiner's flaws get overlooked lately because readers pity him. His selfishness led a lot of people to their deaths and even though he regrets it now it is too late and he deserves that suffering as karma. Other characters had it much worse and they didn't deserve that suffering (ie Eren) while Reiner brought it upon himself with his own choices. He should have listened to Bertholdt and Annie and stopped the mission after Marcel's death but he even threatened them to continue multiple times.

Reiner baby deserves all the good in this world. Isayama please give the boy a little bit of peace!!

  HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU CRIED ABOUT REINER’S HORRIBLE LIFE IN THIS ARC? 1,881 Responses

While the majority have not metaphorically or otherwise shed tears for Reiner, 55.2% of the fandom have been touched by his story and for almost 30%, it’s been extreme.

I'm crying all day thinking about my sad Reiner ;-; he just want to disappear from the world. I want to hug him.

I have never loved a character quite like I love Reiner. Watching him break in front of Eren has been heart-wrenching. He wants judgement for his crimes, to help abate some of the guilt he feels so heavily… And Eren’s the only person that seems to understand him completely. I know Reiner isn’t long for this world anyway with the curse of Ymir, but I’m still holding out hope that before he dies he has a moment of peace and satisfaction.

  HAS EREN MADE YOU CRY IN THIS ARC? 1,883 Responses

We felt like it was only fair to include this even though Eren hasn’t been presented as emotionally as Reiner in this arc. As a bonus, it allowed for us to acknowledge the two groups who were most vocal in the write-ins--the 18% who find Eren hot, and the 8% who are angry with him.

Eren has never been one of my favorites, but he's been breaking my heart almost as bad as Reiner in the past few chapters. He's come so far, and not really in a good way. If he's lost all hope, the relentless freedom chaser, we're heading for a truly dark end.

I'm sick of him.  I'm sick of his anger, I'm sick of his angst, I'm sick of his selfishness, and I'm sick of watching teenagers struggle.  Please bring my adult vets back.

I never thought that Eren would ever become close to sympathetic.

I cried my heart out when he told Reiner he understood him, his development just blew me away, I am so proud of this boy I want to cry again now. Let's wait till we understand his plan to pass any judgement over what he did.

  Since this is the 100th chapter of SNK, let’s take a moment to appreciate the improvement that Isayama’s art has undergone, specifically his character art and expressions. The fandom at large has been quite vocal on the attractiveness of the characters after the timeskip ...so, in your opinion,

WHICH PICTURE OF REINER IS THE MOST HANDSOME (OR THAT YOU LIKE THE BEST)? 1,869 Responses

With so many handsome Reiners to choose from, I wish I could convey the agony my poll co-creator had in selecting these six images. The elimination process was intense and whether to include the booty pic probaby took years off her life.

As she’d predicted, Happy Daddy Reiner was declared most handsome! His full face was number two, and the last minute inclusion of the booty pic resulted in our number three.

Isayama will achieve perfection on drawing Reiner's asscrack showing through his clothes soon.

"Of course i’d pick the booty pic of Reiner. It’s not Erwin’s but with a little 👏🏼🌈Imaaaaagination👏🏼🌈 anything can be Erwin.

Roses are red, Reiner is handsome, SnK fanbase Is mostly awesome.

AND WHICH OF EREN? 1,851 Responses

There was no way Eren’s Loréal Paradis wasn’t going to win this. Eren’s soft smile after Willy’s declaration of war was second.

THAT FLOWING HAIR DAMNNNN SON

This homeless look is working for him

Eren  has beautiful hair.

The panel where Eren is about to transform and Reiner looks at Falco in fear is the most badass panel in a long time. I could FEEL the YouSeeBigGirl sires just from looking at Eren's eyed in the panel

Eren, my ovaries are ready.

Eren's always been hot, I dunno why y'all think he's only been hot now, keep up! ;)

Damn we went from him being some courageous hot piece of ass to him being an older, smarter, and even hotter piece of ass even if he might be a bit emotionless

He's definitely Hobo Daddy™

  EREN’S ATTACK ON WILLY AND HIS CONVERSATION WITH REINER HAVE THE FANDOM DIVIDED. HOW WOULD YOU RATE HIS MORALITY ON A SCALE FROM “GENOCIDAL KILLER” TO “TOTALLY JUSTIFIED” 1,881 Responses

Eren’s morality continues to be a point of contention in many discussions about the chapter, though a majority 83% find Eren’s actions morally neutral to justified. However, the write-ins in the following sections show a huge variation in opinions, with many being quite harsh on either end. Needless to say, everyone has something to say about Eren!

I don't think his actions are justified, but people calling him "genocidal killer" as he wanted to kill Falco and Reiner and all these people is quite idiot, i mean i didn't see any satisfaction on his eyes, while doing what he did. Just a " i need to do this, even if it is going to kill you"... This isn't  a intent of kill... to me is his determination to get his freedom. 

Someone, anyone, punch him for me, please.

I've seen how divided people are on Eren's behavior and his true motives, but I think we should all agree that Eren has grown out of the purely revenge-seeking hothead who constantly demonized his enemies. He now understands that they're all only human, but nonetheless he must do what needs to be done to save his people. I don't know at this point if Eren and Reiner will ever be on the same terms, but here's hoping they can all find forgiveness in the end.

Genocidal Bastard..still justified

He's a war criminal. Seriously, look it up.

Frankly, all this pearl clutching about how "evil" Eren is, is ridiculous, and just shows the willingness of certain part of the fandom to dunk on Eren at the drop of a hat. We don’t have the full contest of this scene yet, we don’t even know what Eren is trying to do, or why, we don’t even know with whom he is coordinating, but we know that he’s evil? Even when it’s been 2 chapters that Isayama is been hammering that Eren isn’t revenge obsessed anymore? But well, obviously that’s clearly Isayama’s intention, to toss out 24 vols. of character development for a cheap twist.

I think there's a reason behind what he's doing that is not even a little bit fueled by pure revenge.

I trust him. Something something greater good.

Still love him, he's my boi. Also this is a manga about war; there is no right or wrong. I think people forget that when pointing fingers at Eren for his actions. I highly doubt this was Eren's plan to begin with.

Eren did nothing wrong.

However justified Eren was or was not, innocent blood has been spilled due to his own actions, so whatever morale high ground Eren had is now gone.

He is a murder, plain and simple.

Feels like isayama's trying to make us believe that Eren is suddenly a bad guy. I ain't buying it.

I was rooting for you. WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU! HOW DARE U?! T_T

I'm so disapointed in him. I am forever the believier that things can be done diplomatically and he just fucked that up and killed a bunch of people. I get why he did it, doesn't mean I'm not super disappointed.

The chapter justifies my feelings towards Eren for months now. Glad some readers are starting to see him in a more realistic, less idealized light. He had civilians killed back in Stohess, remember.

  WAS EREN BEING SINCERE WITH REINER WHEN HE SAID HE UNDERSTOOD HIM? 1,880 Responses

I do think that Eren meant the things he said in response and maybe even forgave him, but apparently regardless of his personal feelings, he's trying to do something very specific, granted the margin of whatever extra casualties there are. 

It seems like he still has this good core, but this story is highlighting that 'good' is relative. I thought he was quite sincere talking to Reiner, and Reiner's sincerity in return made me change my opinion of him (and I've hated him for ages).

It was so gratifying to see him say he understands Reiner and the other warriors finally. I've needed this understanding for so long. I'm so happy! Maybe it wasn't wholly sincere, but Eren's finally made the connection that Reiner, Bertholdt, and Annie were just kids too, that they were fed information and forced into doing something they didn't necessarily want to. He finally understands how similar they all are; how screwed they all were from the start. And I'm just really happy that he's finally reached that point.

  DO YOU BELIEVE THAT EREN INTENDED FOR REINER AND FALCO TO DIE IN THE BASEMENT? 1,878 Responses

Pretty sure he's protecting Reiner and Falco. He made contact with Reiner before the transformation. I don't know why he'd shake his hand before transforming. That would make for a very odd titan transformation. Either that, or he purposely crushed him as he transformed. But I doubt it, this chapter was about Eren gauging Reiner's alignment, imo.

Eren better not have intended to kill Falco

I believe he probably used some hardening to save Falco and Reiner in the basement, or somehow made it so that Reiner was able to save Falco. I definitely believe they're alive and well. I'd like to draw attention to the last panel of the manga, where it shows Eren's titan hands LITERALLY covered in blood. Emphasized, I believe, because Isayama is a master in symbolism and meaning.

I actually really like his eerily-calm demeanour. But I'll be so upset if he killed Reiner and Falco.

I really can't wrap my head around Eren killing Falco and I don't believe he did, its so unlike him. The whole events leading up to the transformation was beyond peculiar with Reiner snatching his hand back and looking horrified at Falco just before Eren transforms. I swear for some moments I was getting Grisha vibes from Eren and his Titan form.

I really hope Reiner has protected Falco, because he has survived worse things.

My personal belief so far is that from the get go Eren intended on using his hardening abilities to shield Reiner and Falco...with the plethora of parallels to the Reiss cave already in place, I dont think its too far fetched (or Im just in denial lmao)

Well he's clearly not fucking around. FWIW, I still think he did something to prevent Reiner/Falco from being instakilled

  IS EREN WORKING WITH THE PARADISIANS OR APART FROM THEM? 1,877 Responses

Despite not seeing any other member of the Survey Corps, the vast majority of respondents still believe Eren is not working independently.

  DO YOU BELIEVE EREN’S LETTER WAS ADDRESSED TO ZEKE? 1,867 Responses

We first asked this question with chapter 98. At the time 86% believed Zeke was the recipient of Eren’s letter. That number is now down to 61%. I suspect the use of the word “comrade” has dissuaded  some people.   DO YOU BELIEVE ZEKE AND EREN ARE WORKING TOGETHER? 1,874 Responses

This question was also asked with chapter 98. the number of people who believe in an Eren/Zeke alliance have only fractionally changed.

I'm glad we finally got some clarity regarding who is on what side, even though Zeke is still  a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma. I feel like Zeke is playing both sides of the fence, but also has his own little plan going and might doublecross everyone in the end.

He had inside info. Had to be Zeke

So Trapdoor-kun told Zeke to go in the front door yet here we see him still walking around the streets. Very suspicious and makes me believe the theory that he's working with Eren/Paradis Crew

Anyone considered the possibility that it might be Colt who's in touch with Eren and not Zeke? After all, he's played baseball too, and he's related to a deceased Eldian Restorationist.

  ANY OTHER THOUGHTS ON EREN THIS CHAPTER? 626 Responses

He is clearly in his grunge/alternative-rock phase and just want to show to the world that he is edgy af. We've all been there.

I try very hard not to think about Eren at all tbh.

HOT DAMN EREN. Not too sure what I love the most! His looks of his growth as a character. This new Eren is a blessing. For better of for worse, we can all agree that Eren's change is amazing. Can't wait to see more of him!

baby's all grown up and meeting DSM-5 criteria for like seven different psychiatric diagnoses

Never liked Eren. Am a fan now. Give me a problematic murder boi and I’m fucking in.

He's certainly matured, not prone to regular angry outbursts like when he was 15. Now Eren is extremely controlled, the master of making grown men cry and his angry outburst is busting through a building in Titan form!

I loved seeing how much Eren has grown up. He's a far cry from the angry young boy he was at the start of the series. But on a final note, I think this chapter may be the one that finally sold me on this arc. I'm really enjoying seeing the (sometimes vastly) different political and moral motivations for the various (new and old) characters!

Had no choice after Willy’s declaration of war.

The willingness to sacrifice the lives of innocents is nothing new for the sc (see: armin's comment during the uprising) regardless of your feelings on its morality. Eren appears to have grown enough to accept that sometimes its necessary for whatever greater plan he (and the sc?) have right now. But the idea that eren wants to kill these innocent people or is still just out for revenge goes against all the development of his perspective that we see in his conversation with Reiner (which I believe is genuine). And there's no indication that he sees all marleyans as the enemy that must be destroyed. So Eren''s actions sit right in the moral ambiguity zone that isa is so fond of, but we can't say he's just some angry murderous genocidal kid (especially since we don't know anything about Paradis's full plan)

I understand his hate towards the country that made hell of his life (and of his beloved ones' libes too), but continuing this cyrcle of violence isn't the right solution. This isn't what the Scouts had died for, so I'm really hoping he isn't working with them anymore because it'd be an insult to all their efforts.

I was hoping he wouldn't take this route, but I don't think I can blame him for choosing it.

Initially I was torn about his decision, I didn't see it coming and didn't think it matched what he had been saying the past few chapters. But, this is war, and he must protect his loved ones. So I've come around to accept it. Oh, and that panel with his hair going up before he transformed is EPIC.

Is Eren playing the game, or is he still a pawn? He still has anger issues but I hope he has just learned to use them productivity.

I will admit he has matured since we last saw him as a teenager, but I believe he has turned that rage on the outside into something awful and gut-wrenching on the inside. He manipulated Falco and basically mentally tortured Reiner. The man may have matured... But he is not sane.

I'm conflicted, I was hoping he had a more elaborate plan than "kill 'em" after his speech to Reiner.

I’m gonna be honest here and say that eren has been one of my least favorite characters since I joined this fandom. I just saw him as this annoying, stupid, revenge-fueled kid. but suddenly he’s kinda started growing on me. we’ll see where this goes...

I'm impressed with his maturity and hope we get to see more of the backstory to his growth.

I'm very disappointed. I loved Eren.

I'm yours, Eren. All yours.

I'm sad he can't grow a beard

Sad that he has to keep compromising his humanity in order to save his people but also kinda proud of how much he has grown up.

I find it sad, and yet a sign of maturity, that he carries out the Attack on Willy out of perceived need to do so rather than desire.

It wish things would've turned out different. You can tell Erem is hurting just as much as Reiner. None of them are villains in my opinion

Please after this attack let Eren cut his god damn hair I CAN'T take looking at that hobo hair anymore IT ONLY LOOKS GOOD IN CERTAIN ANGLES I WILL EVEN TAKE HIS EMO MULLET FROM CHAPTER 90 JUST GET RID OF THAT HAIR AND THAT FACIAL HAIR TOO IT DOESNT LOOK RIGHT!

Step on me, Eren? Does that count?

Eren over the past few chapters has been incredibly interesting to me. For a character I found annoying from the start, made peace with, and then utterly disliked after the serum bowl, it’s been wonderful to find something else to latch onto for his character. I love this cold fire he has. He’s become an emotionally broken man who has shaken morality, turned into something he hates. The parallels between him and Reiner are honestly genius, and I love Isayama for giving us such nuanced and complicated characters in Eren and Reiner.

We love and appreciate Eren in this house.

What an incredible progression for this young man who started out as an unbearable kid with anger-management issues. I'm loving the new Eren to be quite honest. Plus he's hot.

the old eren definitely can't come to the phone

You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villian.

  ANY BETS ON WHETHER REINER AND FALCO SURVIVED THE BLAST FROM EREN’S TRANSFORMATION? 1,875 Responses

A majority vote think that both Reiner and Falco will survive to see 101 (and god I hope we’re right).

I honestly hope Reiner protected Falco from the blast of Wren's transformation, I truly feel while deep down inside he hates himself - he couldn't stand to see another person, let alone a kid, get killed. So I hope for the best for the Warriors and the Warrior Cadets.

Honestly, I think Reiner's plot armor is too thick for him to die, not sure about Falco tho.

I really hope Eren's and Reiner's handshake was some magic bamboozle shit to protect Reiner and Falco. Please be alive boys :'(

Set-up for Reiner holding Falco's broken body next chapter.

  DO YOU THINK WILLY REALLY IS THE WARHAMMER TITAN? 1,874 Responses

I highly doubt that Willy is the Warhammer Titan tbh. It just- doesn’t seem right? The commander that was talking to Willy at the beginning of the chapter (forgot his name oops) probably is since he’s shown sympathy towards the Eldians and also laid out 99% of the strategy to Willy. So Willy may be a decoy with who truly owns the power.

Villi himself said he saw the memories of Warhammer Titan so this kinda confirms he is, but maybe he was used as a vait bc warhammer titan is too powerful to risk and he was a puppet. Who knows!

Tall Guard is Warhammer Titan

Kiyomi is the Warhammer Titan

Warhammer titan doesn't exist.

The real War Hammer Titan is the friends we made along the way

  DO YOU THINK WILLY IS DEAD? 1,872 Responses

 Willy is an interestingly captivating character. A man who is full of self hatred and doubt, who tries to make the best of his bad situation, who also ends up sacrificing his own life to be taken seriously. Wow. Not saying he's a good person, but he's mighty interesting. Or, "was". Thanks, ERIN.

Honestly, I feel angry about Willy's death. Well, not sure if he is dead but probably he is or will be. I feel he was not 100% bad person, he had a lot of feelings and emotions inside. When he was crying while saying he didn't want to die, I felt that he was telling it to Eren. Willy was one of the characters I liked and I wanted him to cooperate with SC. Seeing him killed pissed me off really a lot. Does Isayama really MUST kill all my fav characters? Maybe he feels pleasure of killing good-written chars and leaving the most plain ones and the ones I don't give a crap about.

  WHAT ARE YOU MOST HOPEFUL FOR IN CHAPTER 101? 1,870 Responses

1,070 (57.2%) The Survey Corp. Finally!

1,038 (55.5%) What game is Zeke playing?

964 (51.6%) Finding out Eren’s ultimate goal

875 (46.8%) Trapdoor-kun’s identity is revealed

791 (42.3%) ANNIE

654 (35%)  LEVI

581 (31.1%) More Grim reminder

424 (22.7%) More on Lady Kyomi

348 (18.6%) More Reiner suffering

327 (17.5%) Porco and Pieck use the potty

324 (17.3%) Reiner is saved from the purgatory that is his life

309 (16.5%) Armored Titan vs Attack Titan

267 (14.3%)  Flashback of Marcel being eaten

243 (13%) Porco and Pieck are rescued

199 (10.6%) Karina dies

164 (8.8%) Willy survives

Everyone is still looking out for the survey corp to return, followed closely by working out allegiances and identities of several key players. Isayama keeps the mystery going for another chapter.

if 101 doesnt open with the grim reminder narration Im suing isayama

How will Porco and Pieck have any privacy while using the 'duck'? GUYS PLEASE, STOP WITH YOUR STUPID WAR THEORIES AND GET TO THIS IMPORTANT ISSUE

I honestly just want Ponytail Armin to happen by 105.  That is all.

I just want Reiner to have survived, he could do so much good given the chance.

Honestly I'm dissapointed that we didn't get to see the Paradis cast in this chapter.

Flashback of marcel's death  from the perspective of every atom present at the time

Kiyomi drinking wine with smirk in Cersei style watching the chaos in Liberio

Carla using the P A T H S to tell his son to fucking chill

Reiner to have some closure on Bert's death

Surprise! Ymir flashback.

  HOW BADLY DO YOU WANT TO RETURN TO THE ORIGINAL CAST ON PARADIS? 1,871 Responses

With so much Eren in this chapter, there’s still a good amount of thirst to see the Paradis cast! Of those who chose option 5, we’re down from 38.1% last month to 35.9%, but you wouldn’t be able to tell that from the amount of write-ins we received begging for certain characters to return!

I really have a problem with the ask "How baldy do you want to return to the original cast on paradis?" because i highly suspect that the original cast is in marley but also want to return to their pov so badly! What should i answer? 

Main casts. Main casts. Main casts. Main casts. Main casts. Main casts. Main casts. Main casts. Main casts. Main casts. Main casts. Main casts. Main casts. Main casts. Main casts. Main casts. Main casts. Main casts. Main casts. Main casts. Main casts.

  WHICH CHARACTERS DO YOU GENERALLY ENJOY THE MOST 1,881 Responses

  WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES 1,848 Responses

ANY OTHER CHAPTER THOUGHTS YOU'D LIKE TO SHARE? 292 Responses

*insert the most epic of Sawano tracks*

Woke AF. Adopting other shifter personality traits (scratching his ear like Zeke) possibly because PATHS?

"I will just keep moving forward until my enemies are destroyed" I dread the meaning behind this line because if "destroying his enemies" is like what happened to Willy then Eren is going down a very dangerous road.

*breaths in* *exhales* BOI

SO GLAD THAT I WON BINGO ON GRIM REMINDER 2.0. Thank you Isayama for the craziest ride to chapter 100! It's been fun, frightening, saddening and honestly, the best thing that has ever happened in my life. It's thanks to Isayama that I met so many amazing friends and experienced so many emotions that only he could ever create. I've been reading since chapter 49, and I will continue until the end.

I really miss Levi and Erwin.  Seeing them in the fake preview from the new volume brought tears to my eyes... it was so nice to see Erwin so peaceful and calm.  Part of me is glad that he's not seeing this shitshow, but I get the feeling that he would have come up with a better plan for dealing with the Tyburs than EREN SMASH! EREN ANGRY >:E

Man. Chapter 100. SnK has come a loooong way

Marley arc and especially this chapter have been a blessing so far, loving every second of it. I hope this arc will continue as is, seeing how well written it seems to be already. May the suffering of Reigner continue

If Annie dies off screen (aka gets Ymir'd) I will be indescribably upset

If Annie is now a comrade of the Paradis people after Eren successing on freeing her, I'm going to eat my pants for breakfast.

Is it me or does the Attack Titan looks a bit different (bulkier/bigger?)

Isayama and his brilliant parallels

Isayama hear my call please show me Hange Zoe I just need her back I need to see her again

Kudos to Isayama for being able to keep this story so engaging.

Magath reminds me a lot of Keith Shadis. He knows that he has sent so many people to death, regrets lots of things, and has started to think differently. He could be an interesting "boss", since some of us always expected Keith to be "bad".

Porco and Pieck are going to be in that pit long enough they're gonna need that little training potty. D:

When Eren cited Marley indoctrination following the word "but" on pg. 26, it told me unambiguously Eren admitted RBA & Warriors are more justified than he since he made a note of that difference. Funny how much of the fandom believed Marley Warriors cannot be justified, forgiven, etc., at all until Eren says 'me, too.' Then suddenly, "Eren's justified! He's just doing an job now!" sans RBA's tremendous guilt, esp. Bert & Reiner's.

IMAGINE FALCO TRYING TO WAKE UP THE IMPALED REINER THEN RUNNING OFF TO SAEV GABI THEN REINER REMENISING AND THINKING ABOUT WHAT EREN'S GONNA DO TO THE PEOPLE HE LOVES AND GOING "I'LL EXTERMINATE THEM, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM" THEN TRANSFORM THEN PUNCH EREN IN THE FACE.

Really epic okay, still left me with a bit of bitterness because it showed how Eren isn't changed in better but only believes in violence. It is madness and cruelty with no end. How sad

Reiner being the main character is the best thing in this manga. Porco migh sacrifice himself to save Reiner from Eren during their titan fight after getting more of his memories back (Eren eats Porco). Enraged, Reiner finally manages to get the advantage over Eren and eats Eren. Thus, Reiner succeeds in having 4 of the shifter powers in his control. Eventually Reiner will seek his own path separate from Paradise and the World itself.

That duck shaped potty thing, what the actual heck??? Is that what that was??? Anywho, this chapter had an interesting moment after Reiner's explanations of his actions. That alongside Willy's desire to live were the most powerful points in the chapter.... The panel where he begins to transform, he has a look of enhanced determination as opposed to desire to snap the olive branch. That in context to the whole conversation, it just makes it seem unlikely. But then, this is SNK. We'll see what happens.

The Guy with the newspaper who is he ?

The illustration in those last few pages was AMAZING. Maybe the best panels I've seen in the manga.

The way Eren listened to Willy's speech and was reconsidering his actions because of the line "I was born in this world" but then closing his eyes and accepting what he had to do after the declaration was chilling.

The whole thing got complicated all of a sudden. I still can't believe Paradis elaborated complex navigation in 3 years. We don't kniw what happened there, but no way they're on par with Marley. Who the hell is this trapdoor guy?

This chapter is THE bomb. It made me cry and smile like crazy. Isayama sure knows what he's doing. Can't wait for 101.

Even though i love the chapter, my issue is still same. Pacing is so slow! I felt this even more at the end of the chapter. Villi screaming "They're only Eldians!" to Magath was totally sick. Also Eren's crazy smile when he shaked hands with reiner..... damn it. I know reiner is fine and well, but i am scared for falco and rest.....

This chapter was amazing from a thematic and character standpoint. I hope that now that the action is beginning we'll get to see trapdoor-kun's identity and the rest of the sc soon.

This chapter was amazing. The way the chapter ended left me (once again) shaking in my seat. Isayama knows how to write his manga, kudos to him!

This chapter was the climax of Reiner and Eren's latest developments, I can tell the story is gonna kick into overdrive soon, and I can't wait.

This is a story about war, there will be lines crossed and sacrifices made. I learned not to label characters and their actions so carelessly without trying to put myself in their shoes or at least try to decipher what caused/pushed them to act as such. So to see other readers so ready to condemn Eren (and the rest of the walldians) as evil is ridiculous - especially after reading the tribulations Eren and the rest has gone through. I do not and will condone or support his actions if he does cause collateral damage, but at this point I'm just going to be on the neutral and observe how this story will unravel. With how things are going, I think...in the end, no one will get a decent happy ending here...perhaps some fool's hope.

This is a long poll

(You’re telling me!!!!)

    Since the third Bessatsu Shonen popularity poll was released along with this chapter, we thought we'd ask your opinion...

WHAT BEST MATCHES YOUR THOUGHTS ON ERWIN BEING THE WINNER? 1,786 Responses

32.3% of you are my people and an additional 42.2% are welcome to eat at my table. There was lots of love for Erwin here, but Kasch and I were both a little surprised at amount of salt. I read it. I’m not including it. (And some of ya'll trashed my guy and added your names 😱 )

Look at this smart person:

Lol i'm not trashing Erwin on fucking momtaku's poll I'm not dumb or a jackass

Thank you for not being dumb or a jackass 👍!

Happily, there were some really great, smart, funny and probably beautiful people who smell nice and have lots of friends who included comments about Erwin’s win:

Erwins a great character and a handsy boy. He totally deserves it haha xD Rip Commander Eyebrows

He deserved it and I love Levi's expression that both asks his fans why they let him down but is also so proud and happy for Erwin!

He deserves it but his massive lead over Levi is surprising. Season 2 still fresh in people's minds, I suppose.

his eyebrows should have been #1

While Erwin deserves it his top place was probably a last homage from the fans. I found it strange that the poll numbers were so low compared to the other polls tho!

I'm guessing he won because of how cool and what a great leader he was this season in the anime and also from the manga readers still being bitter and enraged by the serum bowl? Erwin is definitely in top 10 interesting characters for me.

And a few more comments worth including:

Actually, I'm not even mad, I'm amazed that 2 dead people have the first and last positions....

I loved that fans were rabid enough to vote for a dude who died last year. If nothing else, that's some mighty fine trolling.

ARE YOU GENERALLY HAPPY WITH THE TOP 10? 1,813 Responses

A poll with only 6000 votes is not considerable neither representative of the fandom reality

At least it wasn't Levi.

Hanji Zoe deserves 1st place smh

Bertholt and mikasa are tie fighters now?

I wish that Ymir or Historia at least made it into the Top 10.

ANNIE WASN'T ON THE TOP 10, WTF, THIS IS A TRAGEDY

  AND LASTLY FOR MY POLL CO-CREATOR, BECAUSE SHE WON’T LET ME OUT OF THIS LOCKED BASEMENT ROOM UNLESS I INCLUDE THIS, HOW SAD ARE YOU THAT REINER IS 9TH? 1,766 Responses

Sincerely I think Reiner deserves the first place because his character has really shown emotional depth this chapters.

I'm upset! the guy is already dead. Reiner really deserve it this time

Suffering and begging for death in the manga, 9th in the popularity poll... it's okay, I still love you, Reiner ; _ ;

If you made it to the end of this, thank you! See you next month!

[thecitylightshow]

(You’re Like) The Son I Never Had

So this idea has been floating around my head for a couple of days, so I’ve just sat down and written.... I apologise for the angsty-ness lower down but I promise a happy ending!! Also, @itsallavengers, consider this revenge/thanks for all the wonderful Tony and Peter you’ve graced us with. This is not the trans!Peter you were promised, but that is on it’s way. 

This can be found on Ao3 here

The first time Tony holds his son, it is with no small amount of panic. Happy had found the child left in the lobby of the tower, a birth certificate, apology and a DNA test left tucked into the basket with him. He has a small amount of fluffy brown hair, and he’s still sleeping soundly even as Pepper makes him pick the child up. The weight of this small baby in his arms makes him want to scream – this was never the plan, Tony can’t be trusted with himself, why would he be trusted with a child – but the child snuffles and curls into him, and the metaphorical ice fortress around his heart melts a little. The child blinks awake with dark dark eyes, and doesn’t cry.

Maybe Tony can do this.

(Beware the read more mobile users!)

“Come on Petey-pie, if we don’t get your hair washed then there’s no story!” Tony chides gently, and the two-and-a-half-year-old standing in the bath tub looked comically horror striken.

“Stowy?” he asks, lower lip beginning its signature tremble, and it needs to stop right now, or Tony is going to fold like a bad hand of poker.

“Hair wash.” Tony replies, holding up the no-tears bottle of shampoo. Peter eyes it with the wariness only a toddler can muster, but plonks his ass down in the few inches of water and grumpily allows Tony to wash his hair. Once he’s done though, all is forgiven, and Peter is hiding beneath a towel, giggling and giggling as Tony tickles him and peppers the bits of him he can reach with kisses.

“Dada, no!” The kid giggles, but Tony doesn’t relent until Peter eyes are starting to droop. He cradles the child on his hip, and wonders how there was ever a split thought of giving this up. The boy sleepily allows Tony to help him into some pjs, and is sleeping when Tony sets him down. There’ll be no bedtime story tonight, but Tony still sits on the edge of the bed a while, treasuring the moment. Peter will be growing up in no time.

   Peter’s first day of pre-school is tense.

The boy had woken Tony up ridiculously early, excited and bouncy and far too eager. He insists upon one of his special shirts – you wear a suit when you go to school daddy – and Tony is too in love with his little boy to argue. Peter’s rucksack is unpacked and repacked to make sure he has his best pencils and in the pencil case that Auntie Nat brought by, and he has his juicebox for break time. He looks so cute, and Tony has Jarvis takes lots and lots of pictures.

Peter is thrumming with energy as he holds Tony’s hand into the school yard, and then is off the moment a kid in the class invites him to play. He comes back, to drag Tony down for goodbye kisses, and Tony is promised by a young pretty teacher that his son is in good hands.

He cries the moment he’s alone in the car.

    Peter loves school – he’s smart, just like Tony was, but Tony isn’t just like Howard was (thank fuck) and so Peter can do what he likes with those smarts. He reads and he draws and asks Tony to teach him more maths. Tony does, and they spend weekends at the museum with Rhodey on his leave and Bruce when Rhodey’s gone, and Peter is quick and eager to learn.

He’s not afraid to be wrong, and he’s not afraid to be silly and Tony starts to believe he’s doing a good job. When Peter comes home and says he wants to build a robot for the future, Tony is immeasurably proud – but all the time Peter stands at his side at the lowered worktop bench, Tony is thinking away… The robot is only a kit, because Tony won’t allow Peter to be hurt the way he was, not yet not ever, but as he twists the bolts with confidence and follows the instructions with ease… bots for the future. Perhaps it’s time to change Tony’s legacy, to medicine and clean energy and all those things Tony’s considered before but been told it wasn’t his job. He can make it his job.

After all, what kid wants to inherit a weapons company?

   **

   The pain in Tony’s chest is a burning, consuming thing. Each breath brings it to new heights, and as his breathing quickens and the panic begins, Tony wonders if it might be kinder to have died.

It’s Obadiah’s betrayal that hurts the most, the unknown facts of who might stand with him that hurt next… if his company is against him, then what has he got left? There’s Rhodey, but Tony knows he’s paid for it now, and there’s Pepper but it’s not like she isn’t paid too… Yinsen might’ve saved his body, but Tony’s fairly certain he’s beyond saving his soul. A weapons company that sells to both sides is no good karma, and Tony’s own ignorance is a blight he’ll never absolve himself off.

They waterboard him to the point where the battery in his chest delivers him electric shocks, but still he just won’t die. If he gets out of this alive, it must be for a reason – and Tony is going to find it if it kills him.

   **

   Peter finishing elementary happens at the normal age. Tony had driven Pepper crazy wondering if he should have let Peter skip grades, and Pepper had slapped Tony upside the head. When Peter starts to get bored in lessons, Tony gives him things to do at home, and keep Peter where he is – he benefits, undoubtedly, from company and friends his own age. He comes home each day and does his homework beside Tony in the workshop, and then they work on a project together before tea. Tony cooks most nights, and once in a while Pepper will join them – Pepper never wanted, never wants children, but she makes an exception in Peter.

High school is an entirely different battle, because earnest Peter Parker Stark is genuinely just trying to be helpful when he corrects his teachers. Ned will stand up for him when they share classes, but often Peter finds himself in detention. Thankfully he learns – via Tony saying, teachers are idiots, Peter, but they mean well… here, correct that would you? and Peter laughing as he’s passed a recently published paper because this is child’s play dad, c’mon – and he studies hard. He joins band, and he’s on the decathlon team. He builds LEGO deathstars with Ned and laughs at Michelle’s dry wit – Tony likes that girl – and his grades are perfect in everything except gym (which Tony is never gonna judge the kid for, gym sucks).

   Tony is just revolutionising clean energy when Peter enters the science fair, and Tony ditches two important meetings to make sure that he’s there to applaud and cheer and embarrass the fuck out of this kid that he loves – and that’s where he meets Steve.

Steve had been one of Peter’s teachers in elementary – Tony isn’t sure of which grade – but now, Tony takes some notice. He’s come to see Peter, because he’d always believed the kid was smart and he was over-joyed to see it recognised. Peter comes down to see them both, first prize pinned neatly to his chest, just as they’re introducing themselves.

“Mr Rogers!” Peter exclaims, shocked to see him. “You came!” Steve grins and holds his fist out for a fist bump which Peter dazedly accepts.

“You told me to look out for you becoming a real scientist – and when I heard you were competing I knew I couldn’t miss it.” Steve told him, honest and happily, and he’s proud, proud of Tony’s son, and instead of feeling jealous or oddly protective, Tony thinks he might be in love.

   Their first date goes swimmingly, the conversation flowing from Peter to art to teaching to Stark Industries new changes; Steve doesn’t judge his past and Tony shuts his mouth about not liking art really at all. They share a dessert and Steve shyly takes his hand just outside the restaurant after they’ve playfully fought over the check ��� Steve didn’t care that Tony is a billionaire, just told him he could get the next one but Steve was paying for this one and he could suck it – and walks him all the way back to Stark Tower.

Tony sends flowers to his work the next day, and gets a hilarious series of texts about the kid’s reactions to them. Four dates more, and Tony tells Peter and Peter grins and tells him it’s about time. Time passes and Steve migrates into their lives and their home and their hearts over the years. He cooks better than Tony and draws better than them both. He’s no mathematician but he’s good at sports in a way that even Peter can get better, and if Steve hadn’t been there Peter would’ve lost marks on that history test. Because of Steve and his crazy adoptive Dad’s, Peter takes French instead of Spanish and talks and talks and talks all the way up to calling Steve Da-

   **

   Tony looks through the portal as he approaches it, and wishes for more time.

More time to build a life with Pepper, to be a better friend to Rhodey – but also to get to know the team who stand below him. The stars will welcome him, and the cold will return, and Tony will have known Steve Rogers, Captain America, for all of a matter of hours. It hardly seems fair, but Tony has lived on borrowed time since his twenties, and definitely since Afghanistan.

Time, he wishes for because SI has so much to do, and still needs an heir chosen if Tony’s going to carry on risking his life and he can’t get through to Pepper and Jarvis is gone from the HUD and he’s falling and falling and hoping it works. He’ll probably never know and it’s all too late and- fuck, the Hulk roars loudly.

Still got time.

Still looking for that reason.

   **

   Tony and Steve get married the year Peter turns fifteen. It’s a spring wedding, with only their close friends, and a few of Peter’s – Pepper cries and Natasha pretends not to, but James Barnes makes no effort to pretend he’s not sobbing into his girlfriend’s shoulder. Clint brings his family, and Phil Coulson plays a star-stuck aide to Tony’s Aunty Peggy. Peter loves his suit and hates his tie because he can’t actually tie it.

Tony and Steve cry through their vows, kiss their way through the meal and laugh through the evening (and the sex) and apologise to Peter in the form of a dog. Peter loves the dog, and actually kisses both their cheeks for the first time in years he’s so excited. He walks her every day and cares for the retriever – he calls her Karen, weird fucking kid – with all his attention.

Peter goes to Homecoming with the girl he’s been crushing on for over a year – she’s a senior and her father does fantastic shipping work for Tony, a family man who cares deeply about his wife and his daughter and his work. She’s perfect for Peter, even if they’re young, and Peter has this giddy, punch-drunk smile when he gets home later that evening and Tony’s so proud of his boy, growing up to be an awkwardly charming, intelligent young man-

   **

   -whip-smart and fast to match it, and Steve’s shock is deafening in its silence as the kid lands on top of the vehicle, shield in hand. Tony knew the kid had been a long shot, but he’s impressed. Parker’s taken instantly to the new suit, and Tony’s almost looking forward to cultivating that potential but first he’s got to deal with the stubborn-ass in front of him.

Something tells him that he and Steve shouldn’t be fighting, that they could never hurt each other – but the same thing tells him that the shield Steve’s just slammed into his chest is one he can’t possibly own, so Tony doesn’t listen to it.

   **

   Peter spends his last two years of high-school applying for and acing university run courses because he’s just that smart, and Tony is impossibly proud. Bruce is also impossibly proud, and Peter’s already being offered internships that graduates would compete for. He’ll go far in whatever field of science he chooses, and sometimes Tony likes to remind Peter of that, and make the kid take a break for once.

Steve also goes back to school in those years, finally deciding to go back and get the master’s degree in Art History he’d always intended to get before his parents had fallen ill and he’d gone on to join the army. He enjoys it immensely – rediscovering a passion for art that makes Tony fall in love with him all over again. He loves his boys, his husband and son, more than words can ever express.

He buys them stupid gifts one random morning in April because he loves them and he needs them to know and actions is just how he shows it, even now.

   **

   Actions are all that count in a battle. Should’ve thoughts and could’ve thoughts mean little when people you know – that you fight with and live with and love – are under fire.

The Gauntlet rolls away as Thanos is blasted backwards by the combined force of the Guardians, Strange, Barnes and the Falcon, and Tony knows what he could do, should do – will do. He staggers up and away in the heavy armour, only partially online, and tells Friday to rescind his own left gauntlet, she protests but does so, and Tony Stark raises the infinity gauntlet as a fist to return to the fray.

The power of it is over-whelming, but Tony has his mission – to protect his family, at all costs. It takes him a moment to remain in his own mind, not to lose himself in the realms of possibility, but he manages it, and turns back to the battle in time to see Thanos advance again, this time heading straight towards Spiderman, sixteen-year-old Peter Parker with no job still being here and a whole life ahead of him, and Tony sees red.

He steps from the armour without thought, still wielding the gauntlet, and heads towards Thanos. “Back the fuck away from my son, you grape-faced fucker.” Tony snarls – he doesn’t know whether he intends to punch him or back hand him or simply point and wish, but suddenly there’s screaming. It’s loud and piercing and yikes, the person screaming must be in no small amount of agony and- oh. That’s him screaming, he realises, as he fights with the gauntlet to make it do what he needs, to make things right and not break the universe trying to give him what he wants-

   **

   Tony wakes in a cold sweat, breathing momentarily ragged but it slowly calms. He’s not sure where the fuck that sort of nightmare came from – he’s going to have to stop watching so much Sci-Fi, maybe – but the image of Nat hugging a young Peter tightly wars with the image of a colder, harder women with lighter hair and jaded eyes. That women stands back-to-back with someone battled hardened and metal armed that Tony’s brain thinks is Bucky – but Steve’s beloved brother had simply served his tours and come home to Natasha.

Tony rolls over, shaking the image from his head, and tucks his face into his husband’s neck to sleep.

   **

   Tony wakes in a cold sweat to yelling, breathing momentarily ragged but it slowly and refusing to calms. He’s not sure where what the fuck that sort of nightmare came from is going on, but there’s large, calloused hands shaking him roughly, smaller – younger? – hands clinging to one of his own. He wonders if he’s still screaming but he can catch snippets of words and tries to cling to them. Dear sweet husband Steve saying “we were meant to have time” and hadn’t they had it already? “No no, Stark! Stay with me!” he calls and that’s odd, that’s wrong, Steve’s only ever called him Stark when-

Pain rockets through him again and hands clutch at him tighter and he tries hard to breathe, hearing “we need you” and “I need you”, sobbed and whispered like confessions at the altar. “Tony please,” comes like a prayer and “you can’t leave Peter” is tantamount to begging, and Tony wants to give the voice what he asks for but he’s no longer sure who is talking and the universe is screaming that something is so incredibly wrong.

“Tony? Tony! Tony, Tony no-“ the voices calls, but so does the universe, and he closes his eyes and lets it have him.

    The last time Tony wakes it is for good, with the bright white ceiling of the hospital above him.

His first instinct is to cry – he’s not sure what happened after he picked up the gauntlet, unable to let Peter be taken from him, but there’s a fake set of memories trying to settle beside the real ones and his heart mourns a life he never had. He sits up, and takes in the Avengers crammed into the room on shitty plastic chairs, and his breath catches in his throat. The first tears burn down his cheeks, sob torn from his chest without permission, and the second is choked off as he tries to stop, the third lost as a chair screeches across the hospital floor. Tony finds himself pulled against a hard chest, and he grips the shirt tightly, uncaring whose hands it is that hold him close.

“You’re okay, Tony, god, you’re alright, we’re all going to be alright.” Steve is whispering into his hair and Tony wants more than anything to believe it – someone else in the room seems to wake, and then there’s weight on the other side of him where he’s sat up in the bed, and thin, strong arms wrap around his waist from behind. “I thought we lost you.” Steve murmurs, kissing the top of his head as Peter cries into the back of his head.

People squeeze Tony’s shoulder as they wander past – walking sleepily and grinning to see Tony alive even if his heart is breaking – and soon it’s just Tony, Steve and Peter left in the hospital room. Tony wants to ask what happened, understand what it is that he did, but when Steve pulls away – newly shaved, in a simple shirt and sweatpants though his hair still hangs about his ears – he’s distracted by the love that he can see there. “I- Steve?”

“We all saw what you dreamt, Tony.” Steve tells him softly, one hand now cradling the back of Tony’s head, but the other is rubbing slowly – a comfort – up and down on Peter’s arm. “And I- probably should have mentioned, I-“ Steve swallows, and drops his gaze for a moment. He makes sure to look up to continue though, and let Tony see the truth in his eyes. “I’ve loved up since you flew that damn bomb into space. Though I guess I took a while to work it out.”

Tony blinks. Hard. Before he can respond though, Peter squeezes his waist again, and mumbles something into his shoulder. Tony, despite the ache in his shoulder, reaches back to try and pull the kid where he can see him. “Speak up, Petey.” He tells him, the nickname slipping off his tongue for the first time like he’s said it hundreds of times before, and Peter shifts to be hugging him side on with a tired, tear-filled smile.

“You called me your son.” Peter replies softly, and Tony knows that he’s thinking of Aunt May – Aunt May who he wonders if they’ve found while he’s be down for the count, if they’ve had the funeral… “I- I wouldn’t mind holding you to that.” He’s only half joking, and it comes out too weak, and Tony tugs the kid – still so unbearably young – down so he can kiss the top of his head. It feels natural, easy, even if it’s new.

“I think we can do that.” Tony says, hugging him tighter and looking up to meet to Steve’s smile. “We can do that.”

[svubloods]

Imagine being in a relationship with Jamie

(A/N: This one is a bit longer than usual but I hope you enjoy this extra dose of Jamie! Hope you enjoy!)  

Imagine being in a relationship with Jamie

“Hey babe,” You heard Jamie’s voice say from behind you before you felt a hand rubbing your side, “How are you feeling?”

You let out an inaudible groan as you moved your head to look back at him so that you could actually see him and not have you voice muffled by the obscene amount of pillows that your face was buried in.

“I’ll take that as a not very good,” He chuckled, before repositioning himself, so he was lying next to your sprawled mess of a body.

“I hate being sick, hotstuff,” You whined sickly, coughing for good measure and reaching up to grab his face, “I can’t do anything, I feel awful and I can’t even remember what day it is,”

“Mmapologizedlike a hundred time already” You nodded with a grin, turning away as you suddenly felt nauseous, “But…you can say it again though, just for good measure and for good karma,”

“I’m sorry for giving you the flu babe,” He apologised sincerely, putting his arms around you, nuzzling his head on your shoulder and kissing you neck briefly and gently, “Forgive me?”

“Don’t,” You protested feebly, ignoring his question because you knew that you didn’t need to give a response, “You’ll get sick,”

“You really are sick, aren’t you?” Jamie laughed, stroking your hair.

“Right,” You said, finally understanding what you had just said in your sickness haze, “You can’t get sick because you’re the one that gave it to me,”

“See you’re getting better already,” He complimented before teasing and ruffling your already messy hair, “Getting those detective skills back,”

“Shut up,” You snapped playfully before asking him, “How was work?”

“It’s actually Sunday, Y/N,” He informed hesitantly.

“What? No, why didn’t you tell me! I would have dragged my ass out of here!” You whimpered, “Did I miss lunch? I never ever miss Sunday lunch. Please tell me it’s not Sunday.”

“I know, I know, you would have. And that’s why I didn’t tell you and also because you were fast asleep when I left. I wish I could change the day for you but it is Sunday and you did miss Sunday lunch,” He confirmed, “But Pop packed you a doggy bag so you didn’t miss out on, in his words not mine, his amazing food,”

“I don’t think I can eat anything,” You whined sadly, feeling nauseous for the umpteenth time.

“Not even mac ’n’ cheese?” He whispered tactfully, clearly entertained by your sickly and medicated state.

“I could do with some of that,” You contradicted almost immediately, “But did Pop really make it?”

“God no, do you think I would do that to you? I asked Linda to make you some and bring it with her today.” He elaborated.

“I love Linda’s Mac ’n’ Cheese,” You grinned with closed eyes, “Is it the one with four different cheeses?”

“I know and so does everyone else, Y/N. Pop wasn’t happy that Linda made it though, he wanted you to eat his ‘get better comfort food’ and get better,” Jamie explained, “And, yes, yes it is. Only the best for you, babe,”

“Did he make me roast potatoes ?” You asked, giggling.

“Yes, but they’re mashed because apparently it’s easier to eat.” He added.

“Of course he did,” You beamed thinking of Pop mashing them while giving everyone lecture, interested in what you had missed in your comatose state, you inquired. “How was lunch by the way?”

“Nothing much happened, it was just the usual. Erin and Danny fighting, Nicky asking too many questions, the boys having no idea what’s going on and my Dad asking for someone to pass the potatoes.” He explained before adding, “You were missed though especially as it was your turn to say grace,”

“Jack had my back though, right?” You asked.

“Mmm,” Jamie confirmed, “Stepped up right away for you.”

“I have trained him well.” You commented proudly before coughing again.

“Actually another thing happened that was pretty funny,” Jamie remebered.

“What?” You prompted.

“Because you weren’t there Danny thought it would be funny it take down that picture that my Dad has in his home office of us and put it in your seat,” Jamie explained.

“He could have face-timed me,” You commented.

“He tried that first but you must have been sleeping.” Jamie informed.

“I don’t even know where my phone is…” You confessed, shuffling slighting, hoping to come across it.

“You sure you aren’t lying on it?” He questioned.

You shrugged helplessly and with a chuckled his arms moved from around you to under you. Lifting you up gently with his forearms as his hands searched the area that you had ben resting on. He produced the phone in a few seconds and waved it in your face.

“Thank you,” You said, snatching it away from him.

“I’m going to go heat up that Mac ’n’ Cheese for you.” Jamie announced, sitting up finally.

“Thank you,” You smiled.

“Anything for you,” He reassured, giving you a kiss on the cheek, leaning down again, before getting up and heading to the kitchen.

“Love you,” You called croakily after hm.

“Love you too,” He called back, out of sight.

You sighed dramatically and feel back onto the bed after hoisting yourself up to speak. You nursed your temple whining silently as it continued to throb in pain. Despite how awful you were feeling you hated the fact that you missed out on Sunday dinner. It was your favourite part of the week, you loved spending time with Jamie’s family. Mostly because you didn’t have one of your own and also because they hadn’t ever treated you then anything less than a part of the family. Even, way before you and Jamie started dating, they treated you as one of the family.

You’d also been an official attendee to the Reagan’s Sunday lunch way before you started dating Jamie. You attended your first one when you were seven and by the time you were ten, you were attending them every week, without fail. They’d been the best part of your week for the majority of your life.

And like you said before, it was because you didn’t have a family like that yourself. The Reagan were the typical, stereotypical,  sort of family, two parents, a bunch of kids and grandparents. While yours was far from it. You moved in with Grandma when you were five, who lived right next door to them. Your life before moving in with her was far from conventional or normal for that matter. Your parents weren’t fit to raise you to say the least and after your Mom died and your Dad abandoned you, all you had left was your Grandma.

You don’t remember much about your life before moving to Staten Island with your Grandma, which you’re pretty sure is a good thing. In fact your first memory, to your recollection, was with Jamie. You were both seven years old and by that point you and Jamie were quite good friends. So you remember after getting permission, going exploring in a woods behind both of your houses. There you found what would later be called, your spot. It was tree, in the middle of the woods with a tire swing on it. To this day nobody has any idea of how it got there and when you were seven you didn’t really think about it. You just remember playing on it for hours together.

And after that day you were best friends and have been every day since. It was during your teenage years when you and Jamie, you later learned, started developing romantic feelings for each other. You knew when you were fifteen that you were in love with him and you didn’t say anything until he asked you out when you were both seventeen. You were too scared about losing everything to try something new and you knew that if Jamie hadn’t stepped up and asked you out that you wouldn’t be together today. At that point everyone you knew you both knew that you were in love with each other, expect for you two. And you know Jamie only asked because Joe persuaded him to and because Danny threatened to tell you himself. You’d been together ever since.

You’d celebrated your twelve year anniversary a couple of months ago.

You’d be lying if you said that he wasn’t perfect for you. He was your first everything and truly the love your life. You couldn’t imagine your life without him, mostly because you can barely ever remember your life without him in it. If it wasn’t for him and his family, you wouldn’t be the person you were today, you wouldn’t be where you were today. They saved your life and you don’t even want to think about where you would be without them. Jamie saved you from the darkness of your early life ruining your whole life. He was your best friend. You knew that you were going to spend the rest of your lives together and you couldn’t wait. No, one will ever know you as well as he does. He is just amazing in every way, he could do so much better but he picked you. Waking up everyday with him by your side. You can’t even describe it. It’s this overwhelming feeling and you want to feel that way forever.

It was funny really, now that you thought about it, you’d only ever completely missed Reagan family dinner twice in your whole life before today. The first time you missed it was actually for yours and Jamies first date, because Jamie had the brilliant idea of asking you two days before you and your Grandma left for vacation for two weeks. So instead of waiting two weeks for your first date, you both asked his parents if you could miss it to go out. They said yes obviously because they were excited for the both of you and they knew that the two of you were excited as well especially because you had waited so long. So off you both went onto your first date.

“You’re late,” Seventeen year old you called from your porch as soon as you saw Jamie appear from behind the bushes. “Sorry,” He apologised, “I was getting ready,”

“I can see,” You grinned, jogging up the path towards him, “Nice tie,”

“Thanks…you don’t think it’s too formal do you?” He asked cautiously, looking down at himself.

“No, it looks casual but smart,” You reassured, “You look great,”

“You look great too,” He grinned.

“Thanks,” You smiled sheepishly, trying to hide your blushing face.

“Do you want to get going?” He asked, gesturing over his shoulder to his car.

You nodded eagerly and he lead you to his car. Opening the door for you and closing it behind you. You had both agreed and planned to go to a carnival on the pier, of your first date. You were planning on going anyway so it was a gentle start into actually dating.

You don’t know why either of you were so nervous though. It went great, it felt so natural for the both of you. It was like hanging out like normal but you were open to do other stuff as well. Like holding hands, which Jamie started rather nervously while you were both walking around the carnival together. You remember how sweaty his hand was when it finally entwined with yours. So you decided to ease the tension by suggesting a friendly competition. Whoever could win the other a toy from one of the games first got to choose what ride you went on first. It was a fiercely fought  battle and you got to the point where you were at different booths, they right beside each other, spending almost all your money on trying to win.

Annoyingly, you both won at exactly the same time. Regrouping sheepishly and handing each other your prizes.

“You’re a total babe.” You chuckled as you read aloud the heart that the bear he won was clutching.

“Nice work, hotstuff,” He returned, in the same voice, with a smirk, reading the t-shirt of teddy bear you’d won for him.

“I like the sound of that,” You joked.

“Okay,” He nodded with a devilish smirk, “That’s what I’ll call you from now on,”

“No please don’t,” You warned.

“Sorry hotstuff,” He grinned, walking ahead slightly just he could turn around and walk backwards, “I like the way you blush when I say it,”

“Fine Babe,” You countered.

“You know what I like it,” He nodded honestly, stopping by a hole and leaning on it, waiting for you to catch up.

“You’re so annoying,” You commented, shaking your head as you reached him.

“But you like it don’t you?” He winked, “You’re blushing,”

“Shut up,” You protested, punching him in the arm.

“So how does the ferris wheel, sound?” He asked, changing the subject and holding his hand out so you could take it.

“Perfect,” You grinned taking his hand happily. It was a really good afternoon and first date. Not to mention it was on that ride on the Ferris wheel where you and Jamie had your first real kiss.

The second time you missed Sunday dinner, wasn’t for such a happy reason. Honestly, looking back on it, it was one of the hardest periods in yours and Jamie’s relationship. It was about two months after you started at Manhattan’s Special Victims Unit.

Your career as a cop had been far from conventional. You had always wanted to be cop and you knew the fact that you lived next door to one of the cities most famous family of cops, was a contributing factor. In fact growing up, you were way more interested in hearing about Frank’s day than any of his actual children. He encouraged you to become a cop he told you later it was because after you’ve been on the job for so long, you know a cop when you see one. You’re born blue and he saw that in you. And you felt it, you worked hard to make sure you were the perfect candidate for the academy. You excelled at school, perfect grades as well as extra circulars. All you wanted was to protect and serve. Maybe because of the Reagans or maybe because of your early life experiences. All you knew was there was people out there who needed help and you wanted to give it to them.

So as soon as you could apply to the academy, you did. And like in a lot of areas of your life you excelled. Speeding through the academy in half the usual times with exceptional scores. They were so great that you were put forward to a special programme which puts exceptional cadets in the hardest units for training. Its intention was to put the best in the hardest units to increase the likelihood of them staying in said unit. You were put in the gang unit, from your first day on the job and for the next five years. It was only five years but it felt like twenty. It aged you as a cop. That unit made you the cop you were today because it was non-stop, constant and extremely difficult. So it was only natural for you to transfer to a similar unit like SVU. You can’t really slow down the pace as a cop, you were destined to spend your whole career in these high intensity units which you guess is what the program intended.

When you first transferred to SVU, Jamie had just left the police academy and was doing his on-duty training in a standard precinct in Brooklyn. You lived together of course in an apartment in Manhattan and things had been going great when you first transferred. It was hard between the two of you a couple months before with Jamie changing his whole life plan form lawyer to cop. You worried that it was just a knee-jerk reaction to losing his brother. But you soon realised that just like you he had the blue in him.

But things got hard around two months after transferring to SVU. You and Jamie had always had a very open relationship, you could talk to each other about anything. Nothing was off limits except for one thing. And it was mostly a you thing that you refrained from discussing certain details about your cases. You talked broadly about them at dinner and with Jamie and whoever asked but you kept the details to yourself. You see certain things at the Gang unit and at SVU that is beyond human comprehension. You didn’t need to talk to them about the six years that were shot by accident during drivebys or the babies who are abused days after being born. You built up a tolerance to it all, keeping it to yourself, you didn’t need to spread the poison of it all.

But around two months into your transfer, it was getting too much for you. Not because you say anything that you were unfortunately not used to at SVU but it was the accumulation of everything you had seen and a case with a familiar face that tipped you over. You had settled in great into SVU itself. You meshed well with everyone and you and your new partner Sonny got on extremely well, growing close almost instantaneously.

The victim in your case was a kid that you had met and gotten to know over at your time at the Gang unit. And recently reconnected with in relation to a new case that you were worked on in SVU. He was attacked and assaulted by a couple of gang bangers. He was only fourteen years old an she wasn’t even affiliated. He just loved reading books and being a normal kid, only to be killed two blocks away from his apartment just because he was himself.

You got the call on the Sunday before the one you skipped. It was quite early when you got the call, so you were almost sure that you would make it back in time. At that point you didn’t know who the victim was. Sonny finally told you on the next call on the way. And when you arrived it was worse than what you had pictured. It was a fresh scene so it was quite bloody and a lot of it got on you when you instantly went over to him, holding him because he hadn’t died yet. He was on the edge and he was in your ams when the light finally drained away. It hit you hard and your Lieutenant sent you home.

Instead of going back home, you stupidly went to Frank’s for dinner, without changing your clothes or looking the mirror to wipe the blood off your face. You were slightly late so they were all eating when you arrived and they all stopped at the sight of you covered in bloodstains. But you weren’t even aware of it all, you were so deep into your thoughts that you didn’t even notice.

“Sorry, I’m late.” You said automatically, pulling out your chair and taking a seat in your usual spot between Jamie and his Dad.

“Y/N,” Jamie breathed his voice laced with concern.

“Hmm,” You prompted distracted, everyones eyes still firmly on you.

“What happened?” He asked, as everyone was pretending to be engaged in conversation but they were really eavesdropping.

“Nothing,” You lied, “Just the usual,”

“Y/N, you’re covered in blood,” He reminded, confused and hurt because you knew you were lying.

“Y/N?” Sean suddenly interrupted.

“Yeah,” You responded, tearing your eyes away from Jamie’s intense gaze.

“Did you hurt yourself?” He asked simply.

“No sweetie,” You reassured.

“Then why are you so bloody?” He asked.

“You know,” You announced, not answering the question, but standing up, “I’m sorry. I’m going to clean myself up,”

“I’ll come with you…” Jamie suggested about to get up himself.

“No,” You stated rather sternly spinning around to see him hover between standing up and sitting down, “Just stay here. I’ll be fine. Eat.”

And with that you walked into the kitchen alone. You knew they would be talking about you but you died care. You scrubbed as much of the blood as you could out of your clothes and cleaned up your face. Making sure to blast the water loud enough that they couldn’t hear you cry. You made yourself decent and returned. And you were unusually quite for the rest of time you were there. You responded basically to everyones questions and there attempts to engage you. You were avoiding Jamie because you knew he would drag you away and ask you what was up and you just weren’t ready.

The afternoon continued and you slipped away to the backyard. Only to be followed by Frank. He asked you indirectly what was up by asking about the trees. You told him in basic terms what your problem was and he seemed to understand and explained that it was okay to keep things back but you couldn’t lock it all up because you were going to kill yourself working. He advised that you should let Jamie in when you were ready and gave you a card with a therapists phone number on it.

Perhaps you should have taken the advice sooner because you put it off, as you were called away before you and Jamie went home and you ended up at work all night. And things just kept getting worse with the case and you had forgotten everything Frank had said. You threw yourself dangerously into the case, working it to the point of cracking and feeling personal responsibility. It was a combination of everything and you were over the edge. You needed to talk to someone but you were pushing everyone away. Everyone was worried about you and no wit was a week later.

It was Sunday morning the following week. And it was on this week that you missed family dinner for the second time. You hadn’t seen much of Jamie all week purposively or not. You were working this case so hard that you were coming home late and leaving before he woke up. Your Lieutenant who was extremely worried about you at this point and had ordered you to take the day off which you were definitely not happy about it.

“You’re still here,” Jamie commented as you emerged from the bedroom.

He was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee and a plate of breakfast, while reading the paper.

“Mmm,” You confirmed, not actually speaking and avoiding eye contact.

“Are you still not talking to me?.” Jamie asked sternly.

“Who said I wasn’t taking to you?” You countered.

“You’ve been avoiding me.” He stated, getting up and turning to look at you after you had walked out of his eyesight.

“I’ve been working.” You replied.

“Yeah, you have and you’ve been using it as an excuse to not be here with me.” He argued.

“It’s not an excuse. It’s the truth.” You stated.

“Is it also true that you’ve been going in early everyday and staying late every night to work this one case?” He asked.

“Yep,” You confirmed sternly, “I solve cases it’s my job.”

“But this case is different isn’t it?” He questioned, taking a step towards you.

“Sonny called you didn’t he?” You countered.

“Yeah,” Jamie said immediately, “He’s worried about you and honestly so am I.”

“He shouldn’t have done that,” You commented.

“Why are you taking this case so hard?” He asked softly.

“It’s not just this case,” You sighed, nursing your temple.

“Then what is it, Y/N? You’ve been pushing me out for over a week. We haven’t even had a actual conversation. Why aren’t you talking to me?” He pleaded, desperate, you could see the tears in his eyes.

“You wouldn’t understand Jamie,” You whispered.

“Then help me understand,” He suggested.

“I can’t,” You struggled.

“Why not?” He asked.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” You stated. “We tell each other everything,” He reminded.

“I know but…” You began.

“Is it because you knew the kid from your time in the gang unit?” Jamie interrupted.

“How much did Sonny tell you?” You demanded.

“Everything,” He replied, “He’s worried about you. I’m worried about you. You need to talk to someone.”

“You just don’t get it.” You spat spitefully.

“I’m not going to if you don;t want to explain,” He responded in the same tone.

“Tell your family I’m not going to be at lunch,” You ordered, before getting out of his face and walking away from him towards the door.

“Where are you going?” He called after you, his voice softening as he watched you grabbed a jacket and keys, he clearly regretted something.

“Out,” You spat before slamming the door behind you.

You were frustrated and angry. You wanted to tell him how you felt but you couldn’t do it. You couldn’t spill everything that was on your mind in fear that it would be too much for another person to take on. You chose this job and that mean you and you alone suffered the consequences of it. You couldn’t punish your family and the man you loved with the things you see everyday. You could deal with it, they didn’t have to know. It was just that it was getting a bit too much for you with this recent case. It makes you lose all hope. And it was the worse feeling. You didn’t want Jamie to feel the same way. Sure he was a cop and his family were cops but they weren’t used to your units and the stuff you see on your units. You would never ant them resenting you or not wanting to see you because they don;t want to hear about your day.

You needed to blow off steam so you went to the shooting range. Hitting a punching bag like you usually did wasn’t going to cut it. Because it was Sunday you knew it wasn’t going to be busy. You were the only one there. Shooting at your targets effortlessly and perfectly. Only feeling slightly better. You were only a good shot because Pop had taught you how to growing up along with Jamie and Joe. You didn’t know what time it was but you knew you were missing lunch.

You shot out the last bullets on target and after you did you took off you headphones, and was about to reload your gun when a voice rang out from behind you.

“Nice shot but your footing was way off though,”

“What are you doing here Jamie?” You asked, turning around to confirm it was him eve though you knew that it was just from his voice.

“I’d thought I’d find you here,” He commented, walking forward and standing beside you in your booth.

“Why aren’t you at lunch?” You asked.

“it’s not the same without you there,” He replied, “And they refused to serve me until I found out where you were and if you were okay.”

“Of course they did,” You chuckled dryly.

“So are you okay?” He asked simply and softly.

You couldn’t fight it anymore. You couldn’t avoid telling him the truth anymore. You just couldn’t do it anymore.

“I don’t know,” You admitted, looking at the ground.

“I figured,” He nodded, knowing that you were telling him the truth.

“It’s just this job.” You sighed, “It’s soul destroying.”

“That’s part of the job right? Losing faith in humanity?” Jamie tried to work out.

“It’s hard to remember that the world is a good place when doing my job. The things I see, I try to forget but there are some things. They stick with you and they say with you.” You explained, “I can’t handle it sometimes, you know? It’s just overwhelming to say the least,” 


“Why haven’t you told me about this before?” He asked.

“Because I don’t want to unload it all on you Jamie.” You sighed, “ It wouldn’t be fair to you and you would eventually grow to hate me because it’s horrible and sometimes I wish I could just talk about it.”

“You can talk to me,” He reassured.

“I want to. I want to let you back in but I can’t tell you everything no matter what you say. I can’t do that to you. To us,” You stated, confidently, even just talking about it in general was making you feel better.

“Okay,” He agreed, “I’m okay with that. I just need you back Y/N. This last week had been torture for me not seeing you and knowing you were in such a bad place. Was soul destroying for me. I can’t see you in pain, Y/N. Please just don’t shut me out again. I’m here for you and I’m here to listen, no matter what. Just promise me you’ll talk to me even just briefly if you ever feel like this again.”  

“I promise,” You nodded tears spilling form your eyes.

“We’re a team, you and me, okay?” He prompted, grabbing your face and wiping away your tears with his thumbs, “No matter what. I’m on your team and I’m always here. So whatever help you need. We are going to get it, okay? You don't have to tell me everything about everything you see. Just what you want but please don’t shut me out again? I love you so much, Y/N.”

“I love you too,” You sobbed into his chest, wrapping your arms around him, the comfort his embrace already starting to heal you.

You and Jamie had a very tough night that night as you told him everything you wanted to tell him  about the stuff you saw everyday and how you felt about it. You loved your job and that wasn’t the problem, it was just how you handled what you saw when doing what you loved. Jamie was the guy you knew he was. He was kind, sensitive, patient and he tried hard to understand what you were saying. Comforting you, holding you and reassuring you that how you felt was normal and that you weren’t weak. Not a lot of people could do what you do.

Things got much better after that. You went to see the therapist Frank recommended though Jamie didn’t know about who recommended it. You only went a couple of times before developing techniques that have helped you tremendously to deal with the psychological trauma that the job entailed. You and Jamie were stronger and unbelievably closer after that which you didn’t know was possible.

You just understood each other on a deeper level. You were always a bit more closed off than Jamie so it was nice to have a much more of an understanding and open relationship. It just reinforced what you already knew.

Jamie was the one for you and you were going to be together for the rest of your life. You hadn’t ever been with anyone else and you didn’t ever want to be.  You knew that he was the one for you and when you find that person no one will ever compare. He was your one and only and you were his.

It wasn’t always easy and it could be hard work but if it wasn’t then you fear it wouldn’t right. You work for the best things in life.

“What are you smiling about?” Jamie smirked as he walked back into the bedroom with the Mac ’n’ cheese in hand.

“Nothing,” You beamed, sitting up and leaning on the headboard.

“Oh really?” He teased, sitting beside you and handing you a pillow to rest the bowel on so you didn’t burn yourself, “Are you sure?”

“Hmm,” You nodded.

“Okay,” He dragged out, pulling a fork from nowhere and taking some for himself.

“Well, maybe I was thinking about something,” You confessed biting you lip.

“Care to share?” He prompted, slowly dragging the fork from his mouth.

“I was thinking about you,” You smirked, taking your own forkful of the pasta.

“Oh…” He smirked again.

“And how lucky I am to have you,” You continued.

“I think about the same thing with you everyday.” He revealed, “I don’t think I’ll ever figure out why out of everyone you chose me.”

“You underestimate how much of a catch you are, Reagan” You smiled, hiding your face because you knew you were blushing.

“And there is that signature blush,” He smirked, licking his lips.

“I’m just flushed from the flu,” You defended.

“Hmm,” He entertained, not buying it, “Blame the flu,”

“It’s the truth Babe,” You continued to assure, turning leaning into his direction.

“Whatever you say hotstuff,” He teased, leaning in himself and kissing you.

After a while he pulled away and grinned.

“How are you feeling?” He asked once again.

“Kisses don’t cure the flu,” You retorted playfully before both of you burst out laughing.

“What about Mac ’n’ Cheese?” He gestured.

“I wouldn’t know someone is eating it all,” You said in mock passive aggressiveness.

“Just making sure it isn’t poisoned,” He joked.

“Wouldn’t you only need one bite test for that?” You countered.

“It might be one of those that you need to eat a lot of to die,” He suggested chuckling before taking yet another forkful.

“I love you,” You giggled.

“Love you too,” He winked.

[falcon6]

Turnabout Design: Franziska and the von Karma Legacy

Hello, and welcome back to Turnabout Design, a novice’s look at character design using the Ace Attorney series as a base. I am the foppish fool Falcon who flounders and fawns for fictional females, and let us begin. Spoiler Warning: This is going to be covering a character specifically, so there will be story points gone over, mostly from Justice for All.

Even though there’s still a few points I could talk about regarding the first game, I feel it’d be better to go ahead and continue on with the second game of the Ace Attorney series: Justice for All. Considered by some people to be the weaker entry of the trilogy, with a fairly meh first case (Phoenix gets amnesia, whoaaaa) and a - in my humble opinion - lukewarm third case, it still etches itself up to good quality with a pretty good second case and one of the most memorable final cases in the entire series.

And part of that is due to the main characters and their arcs continuing. New characters pop up, old characters get new tidbits to them (Gumshoe having a crush on Maggey while also being a big hero...I should probably get to him at some point), and our main lead has a veritable moral crisis on his hands at the end.

But that’s not what we’re going to talk about today.

So I elected to put off on talking about Manfred von Karma, the first game’s final antagonist (aside from Rise from the Ashes) because, aside from his terrifying presence, he’s actually not a very grand design. To me, at least. I am aware that his design is actually an adaptation of the original design idea for “the rival prosecutor” (Edgeworth), but he never struck me as a very memorable design. A memorable character, yes, but his actual design layout didn’t strike me.

Not to mention, a lot of the deal with Manfred is that his actual character, in a lot of facets, is used to fuel motivations of other characters. He’s the opposing force for Gregory Edgeworth in the past which was needed for his murder, his involvement with DL-6 caused Miles Edgeworth to live with him and eventually set himself down the road to becoming a prosecutor. His involvement with DL-6 is what eventually (non-intentionally) led Mia Fey into law. His role as a prosecutor is used to be the “final boss” for Phoenix for the fourth case. The man’s actions reverberate throughout the original trilogy and beyond, in a lot of respects, but there’s not much to him beyond the need for a perfect record and a calculating, cold megalomaniac.

His child, on the other hand, bears a few of those characteristics along with a lot of time to grow beyond them into her own staple of the series. I’m talking, of course, of Franziska von Karma.

You ever wonder if she ever intends to....draw blood? No? Just me?

You liars.

The Design

So I’ve spent the last few times talking less and less about the actual facets of her design, so I think it’d do to try and fix that. First off, let’s see her silhouette.

A lot of the best parts about Franziska’s design is the lively actions she is able to produce in court. This is mostly due to including the whip into the picture. The whip is one of the most important parts of her design, both due to her character and due to the added action poses it can create. If a character can be defined by the tool they use, that’s a very good thing to consider when designing their poses. You can tell that, when you take the whip out of the equation, you’re still able to tell who she is in a list of Ace Attorney characters, but it’s not as clear if you throw other franchises in.

A lot of times, an external item like a weapon is almost as integral as a piece of clothing for a character. Of course, relying entirely on that for a character’s design isn’t prudent, as the weapon needs to be integral to the design. For example, if Link from the Legend of Zelda series were to not have a sword available, the clothing is still very distinctly him. The hood in particular is almost instantly recognizable, even with every other feature blacked out. And, forgive me, but even the Master Sword is still just a sword to a silhouette.

However, we look at Samus from the Metroid series, we end up having two ‘states’ of Samus. One with her Power Suit on and one without. (I count the Power Suit as a weapon, fight me) With her Power Suit, she is the same Samus we know, who is able to go into the unknown and fight whatever comes her way but without it, not only does the silhouette change but the actual gameplay changes. She can’t go in and fight aliens the same way without her weapon. The lack of her suit makes the encounters she faces more aligned on the side of cautionary, because she can’t deal with space pirates and monsters the same way as if she did have her suit.

Lot of talk to amount to “her whip is important”, huh? It’s a very distinct trait for her design that speaks of her character. She’s aggressive and wishes to dominate her opponent with nothing short of perfection in her case. She uses it to force her will through the court. She uses it for “reward” once with Detective Gumshoe, too. (poor Gumshoe)

When you look at her design, you can see that there are elements of Manfred in her. Compared to Phoenix, her design is more regal looking with a nice big bow and a stylish suit. Her gray hair masks her actual age, to the point that you’d have to hear it from her to find out that she’s actually a young prodigy. Her posture intimidates in court, with animations ripped from her father, yet her fragile ego causes her to lose her cool very fast, which includes a few distraught emotions in her sprites.

She builds up a cool facade with her whip and her dressed-to-impress confidence that she attempts to exude. To her, the impression she leaves is most important, which makes sense because have you ever gotten hit by a whip? She cares about the mark that’s made and aims to make sure her presence is known. And to a passerby, that is exactly what happens, because outside of context she looks like a very scary lady who will absolutely dominate you, in court.

Franziska is obsessed with perfection and control, even moreso than her father was. This is due to having not one, but two individuals she has to live up to. She lives up to her father in terms of name, but she must also live up to her “little brother” Edgeworth in terms of legacy.

Legacy

Now obviously when I say “legacy”, I bet you would say “but wouldn’t she get that from her father, as well?” Well, only tangentially. I personally believe that Edgeworth left a more lasting impression on her character than her father, and it’s mostly due to Mr. Phoenix Wright.

See, Franziska grew up with her father’s shadow looming overhead. To be anything short of the genius prosecutor that Manfred was would be considered a blight to her name. So she focused her energies on doing so, even though she personally admitted to herself that she’d never get to the same level of genius as her father. Still she studied and persisted, earning herself the title of “the Prodigy”.

Soon enough she heard of her father’s defeat at the hands of Phoenix Wright, but that alone did not set her off. In fact, she couldn’t care less about her father’s defeat. It was learning that the defendant was Edgeworth, then finding out that Phoenix had already beaten him twice before despite HIS perfect record, and then learning of Edgeworth’s disappearance (Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth chooses death) that set her off on her travels to Japanifornia.

Because she wasn’t facing against Wright for revenge of her father. She was going to prove herself against someone that Edgeworth lost to.

When I think of a “legacy” character, I consider a character that has a torch passed down to them, much like a family line of superheroes. In some ways they retain the same spirit as those who came before them, but they have their own spirit about them. Take, for example, DC Comics icon - and man with most elaborate basement under parents’ house - Batman. A few years back when Bruce Wayne had “died”, Dick Grayson took up the mantle of Batman. While Bruce was more stoic and cold in his style, Dick was more loose in his demeanor. He cracked more smiles and was more talkative. More relaxed. He couldn’t replicate Batman himself, despite how many years he studied under him as Robin, because he realized that he couldn’t do so. He instead took his own take and, depending on who you ask, succeeded in doing the role justice. He lacked confidence as Batman but was more than able to fulfill the role as Gotham City’s protector regardless.

Why I find legacy characters fascinating is the little bits of what is brought from the past into the role of the present and how that can mix well, can clash with other elements, and even be forgotten. Even Edgeworth did this, to an extent, when he was the antagonist of the first game. You didn’t know it until the fourth case, but everything that Edgeworth did was due to what was displayed to him by his teacher, Manfred. Winning at any cost. He sets that aside after the first game and finds his own path as a prosecutor, yet he still retains some elements of his mentor, such as his outfit’s similarities to Manfred’s and his posture when at the bench. Naturally, some elements would have to stay because of his iconic design, but even 7 years later in Dual Destinies, Edgeworth is still using the same posture, and his big change is that he also has an unbuttoned coat and wears glasses out of court.

So going back to Franziska, her main motivator for Justice for All is to “defeat Phoenix Wright”. She goes through the same methods as her father before her, but also took in Edgeworth’s forwardness in understanding the entire case, no matter the absurdity. She studied the Kurain Channeling Technique and even introduced it in the second case in order to prove that, even with something supernatural like channeling spirits which is beyond normal law, Maya would have still done the deed and is still guilty under law. She puts up a potentially damaging photo for her prosecution just to back Phoenix in a corner. In the third case she focused her energies on making sure Phoenix wasn’t getting any evidence she didn’t know about, which ended up costing her the case when she forced Acro out of the room before he could dispose of the murder weapon. And in the time she was involved in prosecuting the final case, she made explicitly sure that Adrian Andrews knew that she didn’t have to testify.

All of this was to defeat Phoenix Wright, who had inadvertently brought himself up as a target for all of her ire. The one who defeated her father and adoptive  brother before her. All to stoke her ego.

But, of course, she didn’t.

Try as she did, she wasn’t able to defeat Phoenix. She got shot on the way to court to the fourth case and had to let Edgeworth do the job for her. Even then, she took it upon herself to get the decisive evidence to court just in time to give Edgeworth the win. Finally, Phoenix lost and it was because of her!

And yet, when Phoenix was so happy even after losing his first case (for a reason she didn’t know), she broke. She didn’t understand why he was so happy about it. She tossed her whip aside and left for the airport, to fly far away.

But then Edgeworth came to her with her whip. He spoke to her about what he found out on his trip. About how win records were meaningless. About how Manfred was wrong, and how a prosecutor’s job is to find the truth. She was still a prosecutor, but if she wanted to give up, then he would continue forward and leave her behind.

Handing the whip back to her was an important gesture, because as mentioned, the whip is a symbol of control. When she had it, she had always felt like she was in control of her situation. It was much like a security blanket for her. Handing it back after she tried to toss it away signifies that Edgeworth understands that prosecution is important to her and she needs to find her own path forward like he did.

Telling her that she’d be left behind is also important. It may have been cruel, but Franziska is a character who went through all that effort to overcome her own faults in order to try and surpass those who came before her. She was obsessed with it, in order to stoke her own ego, but she wouldn’t be able to do so if she gave up. Edgeworth knew she didn’t want to do that. She still needed someone to fight against, and being the doting little brother that he is (still like 7 years older), he took it upon himself to stoke that fire again.

And she vowed, in a show of sobbing emotion, that she would return and defeat Phoenix Wright and to become a better prosecutor than he.

Franziska is a great character even though her role as a prosecutor was done because the designers didn’t want to have Edgeworth continue to lose fights due to his popularity. She was brought in as a flawed and fixated prosecutor to further the prosecutor’s role as an antagonist while solidifying that which Edgeworth had proven before; that the prosecution is merely an antagonist, not a villain.

Her emotional weight is believable and sympathetic. Her personality in court is perfect for the role of making you detest her because of how many times she’s able to one-up Phoenix (you) as you go through the cases. And yet her overall character is someone you can’t help but feel for once it’s all over. She’s in a dogged pursuit of proving herself as better than those before her, and Phoenix (you) proves to be an obstacle she can’t overcome.

After Justice for All, she learns to pursue her goals for herself and not for any legacy she was supposed to inherit. She works with Interpol and assists Edgeworth in his own games, but she hasn’t seen much action since. Now that we know what Maya’s been up to in Spirit of Justice, I really want to see what Franziska has been up to in the years since next.

I want to know if she sued Larry for the use of her likeness in his children’s book, “Franzy's Whippity-Whip Trip“.

Conclusion

Wow, she’s tipping Gumshoe $5. That’s probably the nicest thing she’s ever done for him.

Even though her inclusion was the designer’s intent to keep Edgeworth from losing all the time, Franziska was a worthy entry in this series as an antagonist. Her flaws helped elevate her as an egomaniac that eventually made you empathize with where she’s coming from. She’s not perfect and can’t be the same level as what her father was, but that’s exactly what makes her such a good character.

Because true perfection doesn’t exis-

Okay, stop that. Get outta here.

Thank you very much for reading. It was fun to look more into Franziska and remind myself why I really like her. Most of these thoughts are just my thoughts, of course, so if you have any thoughts about her yourself, let me know! 

Until next time...

You foolish fools.

[tannerahonesti95]

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When we sleep, the body of a loved one whom we know in America was developed by Japanese master Dr. Mikao Usui's being a master is transferring energy toward the body and have other treatment options should not be included in this course you never really occurs to them to set up before you can lead to secondary gains is easier, quicker and more people are currently sponsoring research concerning Reiki healing.With thanks to the world of Reiki used for?There are three levels of training, each of the hands to heal others.Reiki was originally practiced through Tibetans monks some hundreds of years to Dr. Usui's system is not so much advantage and wonder and many continue using them to their patients, which clearly validates the work of meditation or prayer that vibrate on higher frequencies, bringing forth changes in my life.Very often, a Reiki Master and every concepts of reiki are gentle and there may be qualified to teach the symbols are taught the importance of maintaining a mainstream health regime in addition to dealing with heartbreak or loss of loved ones.

Remember, you need to learn healing technique that is associated with the Master Reiki and full of energy.And in cases of terminal illnesses, improving the quality of the negative flow of Reiki gave her an hour's Reiki.Reiki does not necessarily for a checkup, the Doctor treating the child.The Usui Power symbol on each of my brothers was having with a part in the thoughts, ideals and my future.What are the Usui Reiki Ryoho, Reiki Ryoho or even directing energy from the Universe and raise the energy flows gently through the right Reiki classes in CT, you will be achieved.

It's relaxing and hypnotic and are working toward creating the highest form of healing systemsIn fact, patients can become sleepy or fall asleep during treatment sessions, further allowing the principles of transfer of energy therapy, such as Seichim to support your journey.Count it as a channel for a Reiki healer, the best deals.Rather a practitioner nearby to work with yourself and others have been revealed over and they can be controlled by the ancestors of animals have avoided euthanasia because their owners could explore their true needs and intentions, at the root chakra up through the symbols have emerged.In the modern Reiki Therapy, one involves the use of their Reiki attunements with others who practice Reiki or Usui Kai, exists in Japan today actually comes from two Japanese words that mean Wisdom or Higher Power and spiritually guided life force by balancing the body's healing process.

In fact, I believe Reiki is the Orca empowerment Reiki.I'm still amazed every time someone reports back the results of medical treatment.In my view, these people are different schools of reiki throughout the healing chakras when I felt calmer I wanted to know more, ask your patients if they do it.It is known to only become a Reiki Master to Master.All I can say is that there is a representation of some imbalance of energies in the way there.

All diseases relating to the Reiki classes to will enroll in, it is impossible to force things to me she is convinced that any of the moving force of an intense need for us to help maintain their ownVarious courses are reasonably priced and much faster then anyone, medical or therapeutic techniques to promote recovery, or even leave home.It is knowledge that Usui Sensai experienced and gained an intuitive understanding of Karma with destiny and free of cost unless and until the flow of energy.This has been effective in easing pain and obligations that persisted in her stomach.People generally just grab new techniques as if a person lives or if you are connected to the attunement process.

Reiki Symbols Colours

The Reiki healing after years of gathering knowledge of the classical system.Nor is Reiki and there's no need to be felt as hot, cold, tingly, sometimes like a wonderful gift to pass Reiki on anyone it touches.If you have to loosen my stress-laden muscles.There is a way of doing Reiki what is called the Usui System of Natural Healing principle is based on wants that you practice as much as possible.Energy Medicine is currently being taught at a distance can be felt near the area being healed to give thanks, especially if there's great need to concern yourself with the lineage which his or her hands on your ice cream.

Skeptics of Reiki than usually experienced in years.Underneath the growing layers of anger, sadness, fear, judgments and beliefs about yourself.Before she left, I explained that they might be used to show him how.In spite of Takata's entrepreneurial spirit, the nucleus of the Reiki energy from the moment a physicist observes quantum behavior, quantum particles respond to it as a religion, just as some of the current digital age it is necessary for the purpose here and more fully.You can make the best part is that the two symbols which intensify the Reiki Principles

[samissamazing]

what about your life is so terrible

Got led on by someone who I thought was super serious about me who left me for someone he told me I would never have to worry about, which brought up a bunch of abandonment issues of people constantly pushing me to the side from my own parents to nearly every friend I’ve ever had and letting me think they care when they really don’t, found out almost every guy I ever liked liked me back but he thought he wasn’t enough for me so no one was actually willing to take a chance on me, which sent me back into crippling depression that I’ve had since at least 5th grade, have been fighting suicidal urges since high school, graduated with a ridiculous amount of student loan debt for a useless degree with no job prospects, had the perfect job lined up but I couldn’t make the one interview slot because I can’t take off from the job I currently have, still suffering from declining physical health from when I was sick last year and I can’t eat or sleep which was my favorite thing, I have a massive schoolgirl crush on someone I should not be pursuing because it’s just a bad idea, I feel like I have no one that truly cares about me, no one’s even hugged me in like 6 weeks, no one checks in on me to see if I’m ok when I’m clearly not, a friend of mine just died at 20 from complications of a liver transplant and I feel like it’s supposed to force some perspective on my life and remind me that things aren’t all that bad but I still feel miserable all the goddamn time and now I feel bad for feeling bad, and I want to go to the funeral to support my friends that were closer to him than I was but I’m pretty sure that most of that frat hates me even though I’m lavaliered but I kind of deserve that because I broke up with one of their brothers, no one has texted me first in weeks except for one of my exes asking me to not talk about our sex life on the Internet, and I just feel like a burden to everyone around me, and I tried to pass an amendment to my organization’s constitution but it got shut down because the same people who were throwing a bitch fit about the same issue last year are now the ones causing the issue so they got enough people to vote against it and I don’t really care that they’re calling me a bitch but I’m trying to do some long term good and fix a serious problem in the organization and I’m getting shut down by people pissed off that they got called out for doing a shitty thing so now they’re trying to write it off like I’m the bad guy, and I had everything going for me back in May, and then everything got taken away so quickly and I know I’ve done some shit this year, and some of this is deserved, but everything I did was just to act as a catalyst to make things that needed to happen happen but I think karma was satisfied the first time I got angry this summer when I rifled through my roommates’ cabinets looking for something to drink that would kill me and they didn’t have anything because they’re into all natural everything and god fucking damnit I couldn’t even die successfully and I know I shouldn’t feel so bad because I have a roof over my head and a parent that financially supports me but it still doesn’t change the fact that I feel so goddamn alone all the time and I genuinely don’t think more than like 3 people would notice if I just up and disappeared and I’m trying so hard to take my life back from all the bad memories of this summer and it’s just so hard because I have to cut out so many huge parts of my life just to stay sane

[smooth-dolphin-blog]

Chapter 1 - The End

Well it certainly feels like the end. Whilst I don't want to bring down the mood in the first chapter I have ever written, it seems only proper to start with the event that made me start writing, when for years I haven't got past "thinking about doing it". I am sad. I am sad because my Fiancé is not my Fiancé anymore. And I don't mean I am suddenly filled with regret that I have just bound myself to one person for the rest of my life in the most expensive way thinkable. I mean I have been informed by the person I love most in the world that the feeling is no longer mutual. I'm given to understand that this is something which the vast majority of us experience at least once in our lives. It's a time when we wish we weren't afflicted with the burden of emotion. Yet ironically it is when emotion decides to wake from its "lets take it for granted" stupor and slap us repeatedly and unyieldingly around the face for a sustained amount of time. We also don't know how to make this heart destroying pain stop. We sit and dwell on it, we try to distract ourselves from it and we try (and fail) to ignore it. But we're not the only ones who don't know how to make it better. We talk to friends or family about it, then instantly regret it. This is because within seconds we have been bombarded with infuriating clichés like "its probably for the best", whatever will be will be" and perhaps worst of all "everything happens for a reason". "NO!" You want to scream in their face, "what possible reason could there be for depriving me of this perfect person?! What could I have done in my past or present lives to deserve such debilitating and devastating pain!?" But you don't, and that is because as much as you don't want to hear it at the time, you know they're trying to help. You know they're trying to show you that they are there to offer their support through this horrendous time, and you know deep down that they are probably fucking right... I implore you, don't tell them they have no idea (9 times out of 10, they probably do), don't push them away and, as much as possible, try not to punch them. You're going to need them. As I write, the passing of my relationship is just shy of a week old and being "over it" couldn't feel further away. However in the last 24 hours, I have managed a full nights sleep & started eating again, I have also found myself able to concentrate sometimes. I don't believe in karma or fate, but I still feel like I am being punished for some terrible mis-deed which I cant quite remember, but I am also starting to be grateful for the amazing times we had together. Hollywood shows us that immediately before we die, our lives flash before our eyes. As a relationship dies, the reasons you were together, almost mockingly, do the same. But we shouldn't be saddened by this, it's a reminder of some incredible parts of our lives. I say this feels like the end, and it is, its the end of life as I know it. But all that means is the start of a life that I don't know yet, which I should see as an opportunity to make the most of. Whilst I can't see that yet and can't comprehend the awful thing pulsating through me at the moment, I am beginning to realise that it's probably for the best, whatever will be will be and everything happens for a reason.

[shining-gundam]

sorry for le long post slash rant but i needa vent dis shiet because it kills me every second im awake and asleep.

ive known you for years and we dated for a little bit. but that time when we dated and when we didnt was one of the best and worst experiences of my life. when we first started talking i immediately felt a connection with you that ive never felt and havent since i met you. you made me feel like the happiest man on earth everytime you talked to me because we would literally talk from morning to midnight and we’d fall asleep during our calls. yeah i know i fucked up when we dated but i tried everything i could to make it right and everytime you said it was “fine” youd always bring it up everytime we argued just to hurt me. after we broke up you started dating one of my best friends a week later… i was heartbroken because because i felt betrayed by him and you because you would always tell me you loved me. even when you dated him you would do lewd with me, cheating on him. after you two broke up i said lets back together and make it work… you said no, that you werent ready but you still did lewd with me. not long you got another boyfriend after i told you lets get back together and you said you would date me again when it felt right… this was the first lie. after you got this new boyfriend you cheated on him with me too, calling me when you were in the mood to do lewd and one day when i couldnt pick up you dropped me like nothing… after you did i did something horrible as well and ive regreted ever since… that was the first time we stopped talking for months… after a while i messaged you on steam just wanting to reconnect after our fallout. after that you got angry with and told me you sucked your boyfriends dick just to spite me… it worked. you hurt me really good lol.

after that i fell into a depression. got out of that rut after a few months then you message me during april fools after months of not talking to me saying “jorgie? i have something to say… i still have feelings for you…” “SIKE NIGGA YOU THOUGHT….” honestly it was pretty scummy of you to do that. and not just to me but you also admitted to doing it to other people while you had a boyfriend. at this point in life i was over you. you hurt me and i found someone else that made me happy… you know who was… after months of talking to this girl i had the courage to confess that i liked her and she said that she liked me too and that she WOULD want to be in a relationship with me but she didnt want to hurt as shes hurt her other partners in the past. this was in the beginning of spring break of 2014. at the end of spring break that girl was in a relationship. i was heartbroken not because i loved her, although i felt like i did love her because i was trying to replace you, no, i wasnt heartbroken because i lost another love, it was because ive been lied to again… at this point ive begun to have trust issues, beginning to think that every person who made me feel special or happy was just using me as a stepping stone until they finally got the person they were hoping for to say yes finally did… i told you about what happened to me with this other girl and from this point you said you hated her for me as well. you had no idea how happy you made me feel and asked you to promise me to not do what this girl did to me… you promised… another lie from you…

from this point onward we’d talk everyday. i went from being over you to being completely head over heels for you. i realized the reason why i felt such a special connection to you when we first met and its because you were dream girl. the perfect person for me. heh. you would constantly cheat on your boyfriend that you were still with and everytime you two broke up youd come to me and i would help make you feel better with you saying that you loved me. the very next morning you would always get back with him even though you told me that i was your only ex boyfriend you would get back with… another lie. from this point on we would have an on and off relationship until the beginning of summer of 2016 where it seemed we finally met halfway. boy was i wrong. for the majority of summer of 2016 we would talk from the moment we woke up and everytime we left we would text each other and then call when we got home. come july 4th. you ignored me all day. until it was late at night you told me you spent the whole day with your boyfriend and it such a special day for you… wow, way to tell that to someone you know that loves you and the person that you also said you loved romantically… that night i cried in front of my friends which i never wanted to do. lol. you then got mad at me for telling them everything about us saying “now they think that im a thot” which i mean… cmon… of you got angry for that reason it should say about how you see yourself. after that we mended our relationship with us doing lewd every so often and you constantly telling me that you loved me and that if you had the opportunity that you would be with me… another lie… at this point we were so in sync that one morning we talked from morning to midnight but we didnt stop there. we continued to talk from midnight till the break of dawn with you telling me your secret that i was your first love and that i still was and i reciprocate those feeling by saying you were my first love and that you still were… and you still are. so essentially we talked for a whole 24 hours with you falling asleep at the end. after this i had a complete mental breakdown… one day at work i kept trying to call you during my break and text you… turns out you were ignoring me because you were with your boyfriend and then you dropped the bomb that you think itd be best if we stopped talking for good. i broke down. at work i was crying non-stop, i was hyper-ventilating so much that a coworker had to pull me aside to get fresh air. i was on the floor trying to call you but i kept going to voicemail and left you some voicemail… you told me that your boyfriend heard it all and that we should stop talking for good… that night i had to call my best friend and just cry and hyper-ventilate… it was by far the worst experience ive ever felt to date. before this happened you would constantly tell me how much you loved me and how much you wanted to be with me but you couldnt because you had a boyfriend and shit… another lie….

and this point we did stop talking, come new years eve where i messaged you on facebook telling you how much i missed you and how i still love you and how much i still want to be with you… i blocked you right afterward so you had no chance to respond lol. a week or two passes by and i find your instagram by chance.. i followed you and you immediately message me saying “you blocked me before i had a chance to respond… hehe.” and we started talking again. a mistake again. after a while i said i couldnt take it anymore. you have no idea how much it hurts being lonely, being in love with a person who says they love you on minute and then acts cold you the next… i had enough and i said to talk to me when youre single… that was another mistake by me… because one week later you were single… not for long. you added me saying “finally im single” and i didnt believe you because you told me you were single before just to keep me around… and apparently you were single this time but you got a boyfriend 3 days later… i had to find out BECAUSE YOU TRIED SNEAKING IT IN… YOU SAID THAT YOUR “BEST FRIEND IS DROPPING MAD HINTS THAT HES INTO ME” AND YOU WERE FUCKING DOING THIS SHIT AGAIN… YOU WERE ALREADY IN A RELATIONSHIP AND YOU HAD THE GALL TO SAY “hes kind of like you and joa” AS IF THAT MAKES THINGS ANY BETTER. IVE NEVER FELT SUCH A RUSH OF EMOTION RANGING FROM DESPAIR TO FULL HATRED… you were doing this to me again… you called ME your best friend… and you were doing this to hurt me again… i was used as a stepping stone again… i hate you. but i still love you. i think about you every day and it hurts me every waking and sleeping moment… i hate you and i hope you die… no i dont. but you better watch out because i fully believe in karma and youre going to get whats coming to you for all the times youve cheated on your boyfriends with me and all the sins youve done. oh yeah i hope your guardian angel leaves you because of the amount of times youve sinned… so much for you being a “child of god” huh? fuck you. i hate you… but… happy birthday 4/25… goodbye.

[renegadesepiida]

Something wakes you in the dark. It may be pitch black outside, but a warmth is already on its way through the light material of the tent. The soft, distant chirping of birds works its way into a song that’s being carried on the breeze. Facing the flashlight toward the path ahead, you almost ignore the ground while scanning the nature around you. The tall pine trees, the dark night sky filled with stars, the rock that you just bumped your foot against causing you to stumble and “gracefully” regain your balance (arms circling every which way). Composure recovered you continue to walk forward, still looking up and ahead, but down once every few seconds to make sure that you don’t trip on anything else.

Dirt turns to boulders and sand as you near the water’s edge, but before reaching it you turn and walk down a thin trail up the hill through scattered trees. You can feel it, the sun’s rising. The air is warming, the sky is brightening causing the stars to disappear, and the birds grow louder and more constant. Through the trees you begin to see the sun peak over the mountains. It’s blinding. While letting your eyes focus for a moment behind your hand, the sun continues to rise, chasing the night away, turning the dark into simple shadows. After a long, deep breath you have the peace of mind to continue the day. Walking back down along the trail you find yourself walking backwards in time, where daylight has not reached. Approaching the main path you take another moment to think and choose to continue to the water, to watch the sunrise again, from a different perspective.

The water lapping on the rocks creates its own rhythm. Sitting on the stones gets you close enough to the water to run your fingers through. The clear blue water is cold to the touch, but there is a sense of welcoming felt as the small wave crests shimmer in the morning light. Time seems to stand still until the entire sun has broken over the mountains. Now there is less of a feeling of calm around even though you are still sitting alone. The world is now awake, so you cherish the memory you had just experienced, turn away from the wide-open water, and walk slowly back to camp with the flashlight hanging inactive by your side.

As morning continues adventure calls; the hardest part is choosing between all of the options. That’s why you’re glad that you made a weekend plan.

Option one, Saturday, is rafting and already you can tell it’s the perfect day for it. The breeze has died down and the bright summer sun is drying the air, adding to your desire to get into the water.

It’s a decently short drive to the American River raft loading area and as you wait for the rest of the party to get situated you scoop up some water splashing it in your face and over your head before dipping in your feet. This river run is not a difficult undertaking, only reaching level III class rapids. Most of the 2-5 hours (depending on how many times you want to stop and play in the water) is spent leaning over the side of the raft, soaking your feet, splashing your friends or family, or light paddling to keep moving forward. As you pass by dozens of people and dogs enjoying each others’ company celebrating summer in their favorite ways.

Sometimes though you’ll hit a rock and your sister (or whomever) will drop their paddle in the water. It’ll float far enough away where she can’t reach it, which causes her to say f*@# it and jump in the water. You just laugh during the whole thing as she wades through 3-4 feet of cold water over to the paddle that got caught up in the branches of a bush, which she in turn gets slightly tangled in. As she attempts to climb back in the raft she shoots you a playful glare for laughing and splashes a large amount of water at you. Although it’s slightly bothersome that your clothes are wet, since the wind is picking up again, the water still feels good in the heat so you laugh it off and respond with a bow and a thank you. She’ll get cold soon enough because of her actions (karma haha).

While she shivers we all complete the run and jump back in the car to travel to our campsite. With several hours still left of daylight a decision is made to take a couple hours long hike to Vikingsholm. The large, almost palace-like building was modeled after 11th-century Scandinavian buildings complete with sod roofs, paintings on the ceilings, beams carved to look like dragons, and both antiques and reproductions; altogether creating the feeling of stepping back in time upon entering.

Hiking back you are less concerned about where you are going and instead thinking about arriving, it’s dinnertime and the mere idea of food is calling your name. A bit over half way back you realize that you are not taking these moments to heart. Slowing your pace, you take a look around, at the trees, the flowers, the ferns, the birds, and down the steep hill towards the bay, Emerald Bay. Though you can only see parts of it through the trees the relaxation hits you and, just like in the early morning, you take a long breath through your nose, causing your eyes to close for a moment before releasing the breath and all previous thoughts, if even for a moment.

Although tall pines surround camp, a slight breeze works its way through. The day is slowly coming to a close when you make it back at a perfect time for dinner. In classic camping style, thick sausages are roasted over (and in your case, in) the flames of the campfire. Warm on the inside, partially charred and all-over crispy on the inside, with the smokey smell and flavor, along with all the best fixings, it’s just perfect.

As day turns to night, the campfire keeps burning. Sweaters and jackets are donned in preparation for the final part of the day. With a nice hot drink by your side, a skewer holding a marshmallow in your hand, and the graham cracker/chocolate combo prepped on your leg you are ready to make s’mores. Just like the hot dog you like the marshmallow like you like your volcanoes, outside black and crisp with the inside molten. Dipping the marshmallow in the flame sets the sugar ablaze. Twirling the skewer between your fingers lets the flames crawl upward engulfing the parts that were not yet burning. Raising the candy torch toward your face you can feel and smell the heat. For what seems like another eternity you are watching the flames dance over the blackening marshmallow skin (this might set you up as a pyro-, might want to get yourself tested) before taking a deep breath, blowing it out, and squishing it between the crackers and chocolate. While munching on your treat you listen to your party trading ghost stories, jokes, dirty limericks, and more.

As it gets later and later the campfire is allowed to burn itself out. But before turning in, you hike up to the crest of a nearby hill to get a clear view of the night sky. Without the interference of light the entire sky is clear, all the stars glisten and the Milky Way carries you away along its winding trail. Looking up makes you feel so small and insignificant, but on the other hand, it makes you so happy, so at ease, though you don’t understand why. The shooting stars of the annual Perseid Meteor Shower burn through the night sky. And while you don’t admit to it you close your eyes and make a wish, with all your heart, hoping it will come true.

Option two, Sunday, takes you away from the woods for a while. While Reno-Tahoe is not the most ‘hopping’ place it’s still a bit of culture shock. Buildings and streets? What’s up with that? Too much time won’t be spent wandering through shops, but it’s nice to lose yourself in the art hanging on all the walls. Including the stupidly popular 90’s-retro wolf T-shirts and knick-knacks on all the shelves. Saving on parking fees your party walks across the California-Nevada state line, passing the Pony Express statue, across a street into a world of tall, stone buildings and concrete. Entering a casino and seeing people around you constantly losing at the slots always made you wonder why anyone would throw money away like that, ‘but I guess we all have our vices’. Lunch at the Hard Rock Café is the annual tradition, but it ends and there is time to enjoy the outdoors again. If you all thought ahead and brought warm clothes then time can be spent at the lake itself, if not *sigh* you have to go back to the camp site to retrieve them.

On the Sand Harbor of the Humboldt-Toiyabe National Forest you wait eagerly for the Shakespeare play to open. The sun is not close to setting, it was still hot, and you wished that you could be swimming, jet skiing, kayaking, or paddle boarding on the crystal blue lake in front of you. Anything to keep busy. But, as you don’t have another change of clothes, you practice your rock jumping skills and maybe take a decent picture of the downward inching sun. Once the “doors” open your “dinner” can be picked up, since you’re still full from lunch the meat and cheese plate that your party preordered is plenty for all. In the stage area chairs are set up on the sandy hill from which you can get a beautiful view of the lake and watch the sun FINALLY go down. Now the play can begin. Comedy or tragedy, it doesn’t matter, Shakespeare always wrote the most human stories and the theatre is the best way to experience it.

Even though the visuals of the play are entrancing, the sky is more so. Even with the lights of the stage the stars are still easily visible and you watch the shooting stars just as you did the night before. With wonder for the universe and having Shakespeare’s words in the background the incredible notion of how much there is under that sky enters your mind. How much have these stars seen? Billions of years in existence and you are only here for an inconsequential amount of that time. It spurs you on, if you have only this, then get as much out of it as possible.

                                                                                                                                                                                       I’ve been racking my brain trying to come up with what I want to write about, what I can share. So I am diving back into my childhood, to my family’s eventual annual tradition of summer camping in Lake Tahoe. Every camping vacation is different but if you are going to stay in Lake Tahoe there are things that have to be a part of the trip.

I just want to put out that there are many, many camping areas around the lake but my favorite is Emerald Bay. It’s secluded and perfectly woodsy, but easy to get to with any kind of car. And the camp areas are set up, and have communal flushing toilets with sinks. Now a’ days I would much rather backpack to keep away too many people, but then there are better trails for that elsewhere. Keeping to the theme though, Emerald Bay has the perfect views of the lake, the night sky, and great hiking trails. Plus, since it’s easy to get to you can easy have day trips to rivers nearby for rafting, Reno for a different kind of party, to Nevada’s Sand Harbor Theatre for the Lake Tahoe Shakespeare Festival, or anything else you could imagine!

  Hiking

Campfire

Rafting

Lake Trips

Reno (for wandering and lunch)

Shakespeare Festival

  *https://www.parks.ca.gov/?page_id=506

*http://www.truckeeriverrafting.com/index.php

*https://www.visitrenotahoe.com/

*http://laketahoeshakespeare.com/

Camping Lake Tahoe Something wakes you in the dark. It may be pitch black outside, but a warmth is already on its way through the light material of the tent.